I pray that Love shall find you, no matter wherever you are.
I pray that you gain peace, Joy, and Freedom in Christ too.
I pray that one day your regrets shall all vanish and be gone.
I pray that your mind shall always remain free from clutter.
I pray that you shall always have enough to eat every single day.
I pray that you shall not only find salvation from Christ here.
But you shall hold it and even cling to it during the rough patches.
I pray that Christ shall always hold you tight not only in the rough times.
But even in the times where you are feeling at here in this here life.

Anxiety is hurting my sister right now she worries about everything even worries about worrying :) She is still undergoing treatment for her cancer and is just very emotional right now. I will let you in on a little secret.... I have bad anxiety too!!!  I have somehow been able to keep it in check though. We took a weekend trip just recently to see some family and it was very draining and very good all at the same time.  Keeping my sister's anxiety in check left me needing to see a chiropractor when we got back.  I am not complaining though because I think that is what helps me.

Focusing on my sister and other people hurting helps take the focus off of me.  This time of year is very ******* a lot of people. We worry about not having enough money.  We worry about all the activities and hustle and bustle.  Also we are so deeply saddened by the loss of loved ones and why there is an empty seat at the holiday table.  We are preoccupied this time of year and I just want to say STOP for just a moment and remember to breathe.  Try and take the focus off yourself by saying a little prayer for another person hurting. Even try to do something for another person if you can. It has helped me with my anxiety and perhaps it can help you too!! Everyone wants to be remembered and loved especially this time of year! ❤️ Merry Christmas to all my friends here at HP!!

The significance of my being and meaning and impact.
When my time is over and mother nature calls me back.
Decomposing and crumbling  bones of my dirt nap.
The world turns and time in memorial won't give a crap.

      Nature's rules decide.
       All things abide.

When measuring in eons and we're a mere blip on the screen.
The profoundness of our meaninglessness could be overpowering.
Unknowable infinity of stars and what they have seen.
**** sapiens defining sum isn't worth mentioning.   

   In the darkness, endless, maw
   All, follow natures law

From the Complexities of vast galaxies beyond mortal man's understanding.
To the smallest intricacies  of nanoparticles, molecules, and atoms.
With the eternity of continuous space which is still hard to fathom.
Connected composites of muddy space dust created modern man at random.

Mammy say don't fear the boll-weevil,
Just a bug, don't worry bout him.
But Pappy say the little devil evil,
so he believe in the cotton gin.

This Texas guy say he was an angel,
I followed lock-step, believed what he said.
Didn't seem to have any sharp angles,
he drank some poisoned koolaid now he dead.

Searched at end of rainbow for *** of gold
me be rich *****, no mo po *****.
Leprechaun belief, I been told,
While head in sky searching, fell in trench.

Politician and preacher keep saying,
I hear their voice noise grind and grind,
vote for me girl and keep praying,
but in the end it make no nevermind.

I tink at de end of the day I just believe in me.

“...But didn't your mother die too?
Back before we came?”
Some thoughts, Dad?
That day for you?
How was it?

Tell me how you woke in gray –  
dressed so uniformly in it
Tell me how you turned away
from all those helpless flowers on the ground
Came back empty to her kitchen
Still filled with the smells of her

Let me see her!  Hear her!
Once!
With any words –

besides the ones about the meat juice on her dress
The roast flung back
to splatter rage
upon the gentle curse
I see reflect
in my own image
across the table from him...

I want to know about the picture on your bureau
Do silent eyes still tuck you in?
She has a kind face that seems unending
I understand why things have gone unsaid

Do you know?
I have been wondering
Sneaking in your room
to pull her down from heaven?
To melt the years
of frosted glass between us?
to touch her face?
To look into her grayish eyes
pretending for a moment – she can really see me
To lay my head against her calico embrace?

Celina Arnell Rodier, 1872 – 1941  (Dad's Mom)

You were sad my whole life.
Angry too, though you didn't show it
until the bone pain wore you down.
Then you opened fire.
      "You stupid girl, never could do things right. Look at you,
        fat as a **** pig, no one will ever want you."
I knelt down next to you,
inside the stench of cancer.
It had eaten you down
to the size of a six-year-old, still
wearing your eighty-year-old face.
You didn't understand
that you didn't understand
I have been sad my whole life too.