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Terrin Leigh Apr 2015
Oh, to know what You know.
to see the grand blueprint of the intricate design of

my life, my life.
The mirrors are fogged.
Roll down your sleeve
smear away the gray

I dream of the moment,
long-awaited and so, so sweet
to trace the angles of your face with my hand
to carelessly fall into your embrace

Momma always said to
find the corner pieces first
but I just fudge the pieces to fit
I dizzy myself with my own desires

Be unto me the cornerpiece, --  the foundation of my life

Nearsighted and naive
Lord, give me eyes to see
interim apathy will serve
a deeper purpose

Rest, my thoughts
Ease, my mind
You are fully known.
1 Corinthians 13:12
Terrin Leigh Apr 2015
You were supposed to take it all away.
You were supposed to make me forget
You were supposed to provide me a release
You were supposed to signal help
You were supposed to control the chaos
You were supposed to be there for me
You were supposed to distract me
You were supposed to help
You were supposed to make me feel alive
You were supposed to match my outside to my inside
You were supposed to make me feel better
You were supposed to

but all you are is an anesthetic turned to poison.
Terrin Leigh Apr 2015
How is it that I long for something I already possess?

I feel an orphan, though I lack not
my emotions feel imposter

like those of true loss,
my heart aches for more than a shadow
moreover, I carry the guilt of this pang
with knowledge of those who carry authentic sorrow

I ask the question.
Is bruised fruit better than nil?
Is bread, molded and crumby, better than none at all?

I know you love me, but do you enjoy me?
obligation does not breed true affection.
dutiful acceptance falls short
I long for a genuine, tangible love
Terrin Leigh Apr 2015
Moving through the transitions of life
Oh, show me how to navigate

The shadow of my former self
fades faster with every move

She's run away,
she hides,
she won't come back.

Stay, stay, please stay.

If you go, along with you
travels the hope
of the return of me

She will be lost forever
Please, if you must leave,



don't forget me.
Terrin Leigh Mar 2015
Passing, leaving
Coming, going
The ebb and flow of knowing
is full of feeling.

Comparably, vulnerability brings
harder falls
but higher peaks
I am no gambler.

Magnet to me.
Never leave.
Irreversibly, your lover.
Permanently wed.

Hold me, hold me...

Exit stage left.
And you never come back.

Locked inside,
lonely, but void of all other feeling--
a novacain heart.
Susceptible to sentiment, no longer.

How do you love when love always leaves?





I don't know how
Terrin Leigh Feb 2015
She awoke dull and dismal
The clouds mirrored her emotions
The day was hers
but he'd come and ****** it away

Of that, she was sure.

Mustering an energy she didn't have,
she willed herself out of her bed
to leave the comfort of hiding

She doesn't bother with the shades
Sunshine was a stranger to her heart, anyway.

Neglecting the normality of a morn'ng routine
She threw on a sweater to warm her cold soul
and poured her coffee - black - to match.

Ambition does not belong
in the dictionary of her life
Life? Hardly.
She is the walking antonym of motivated

But there is a place
where she feels alive

In a damp, dark, ***** basement
filled with bats, wheels, earth, and glaze.

Wasting the gray day away,
taking refuge in the arts

Wedging, centering, shaping, stop.
Trimming, firing, glazing, stop.
Lost in the process,
lost in her thoughts.

She can breathe again.
She rises to the battle.

He will not win.
Terrin Leigh Feb 2015
Totally oblivious.
No warning.
The call came.
I was summoned.

Head-on collision of confrontation  
Did I say just enough?
Too much?
I need this.

Was this it?
Was this my chance?
Add it to the list of the things I ruin.

Retrospect brings regret.
Oh, how I wish things different.
Too obvious and yet too discrete.
I need this.

I leave with hope.
Someone cares.
interruption and intervention of unhealthy habits
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