When the wind
Shouts down the leafs,
I hear.

If clouds mass
In formation,
I see.

As the ground
Rolls its fat,
I feel.

Should the rain
Reach my lips,
I taste.

After  bees
Give birth to scents,
I smell.

Near you,
I'm senseless.

I have lived in important places, times

When great events were decided, who owned

That half a rood of rock, a no-man's land

Surrounded by our pitchfork-armed claims.

I heard the Duffys shouting "**** your soul"

And old McCabe stripped to the waist, seen

Step the plot defying blue cast-steel --

"Here is the march along these iron stones".

That was the year of the Munich bother. Which

Was more important? I inclined

To lose my faith in Ballyrush and Gortin

Till Homer's ghost came whispering to my mind.

He said: I made the Iliad from such

A local row. Gods make their own importance.

shoulders squared
putter lined up against
the pink gum ball at my
miniature feet
i know my father is watching
and i know he will swing me around in his arms
regardless if i get a hole in one,
and say, 'i'm proud of you, kathy b'
that loop-de-loop was a real *****

i remember the car rides home
fleetwood mac on the freeway
every time i asked you where we were going
you'd tell me, "to the moon"
hold my hand,
and with you
we went celestial

and in a couple years,
i'll advance and swing clubs against the wind
i begged you to teach me, begging
"how do you get that ball to fly so high"
i'd crane my neck against the sky
even with me on your shoulders,
our love flew so high
and i was terrified of you dropping me

i never played to impress you
i played because it was a part of you
sweetly polished, leather golf shoes
you smelled like grass,
and sunday
and thick tulsa wind
so you and i played every weekend

in aunt melissa's backyard,
i stared at my compromise
when i was thrown off the backseat of the cart
my twisted tiny fingers
dangling
pit pattering against rubber
it smelled like gasoline
and i couldn't stop thinking about
your sweet leather, newly polished shoes

we didn't play golf anymore after that
i stared death in the face, and so do you
because we hold hands in a different ways
you're on my shoulders now
because your occipital is faulty
and you can barely see

i'm hoping one day,
you'll teach me how to hurl pink gum *****
through the wind, so effortlessly
i hope one day you'll teach me
to pick out the perfect christmas tree,
and i hope you tells me you're proud of me,
kathy b
a perfect chicken soup recipe
the cure for all broken memories

I've learned:

Not every sunrise is equal.
Some bring more light,
She's the same.
And frequently I find
She's to blame
When clouds disperse
And lightning fades.

In my mind
And in my day.

I trace fingers down my arm,
Imagining yours,
Inked.
 

I close my eyes,
Think back to us,
Memories.


Your tattooed arm,
My favorite beanie,
Gone.

 
Your smile,
Your hug,
Missing.
 

Am I supposed to leave you?
Am I supposed to forget?
Even though it was you,
Do you still miss me?
Questions.
 

I know it’s your dream,
Since you were a kid.
But now that you’ve met me,
Do you see me beside you in it?
Dreams.
 

I’m not used to this,
I can’t do it.
I lean down my pillow,
And I still smell your scent
Empty.
 

Why can’t you come home?
I need you now,
I’ve never felt this way before,
Please, help me.
Pleads.
 

I don’t like being alone,
 I miss my heart beating,
At your smile.
When it flutters,
At your touch.
Addicted.


Like a drug.
You aren’t good for me.
Who am I kidding?
I need you so bad.
Drugged.
 

I want your kiss,
Your skin upon mine,
Your lips against mine,
Your soothing words melting mine.
Wishes.
 

Your tattoos,
Meaningless.
Yet so many reasons,
For every single one.
Trance.
 

A tear falls.
My heart against yours,
Racing each other,
But staying close.
Metaphors.
 

Love was once a mistake.
And I never trusted again.
Then I met you,
And you turned my world around.
Happiness.
 

Maybe I’m dreaming,
I close my eyes.
I’ll wake up with you in my bed,
And forget everything.
Disappointment.
 

These are real tears,
You’ll never be able to see,
That I hate to admit it,
But I think I love you.
Light bulb.

 
And I realize.
You kisses make me wanna fly.
Those nights with you made me feel special.
That’s all you wanted.
Recognize.

 
I held on to the man of my life,
But let go.
Now I’ll never be able to see you again,
Because I didn’t get it.
Understood.


These tears keep flowing,
Now I get it.
I held my walls for too high,
Too long.
Corrected.

 
Can you hear me?
I want you to know,
This poem is for you,
My aesthetic pleasure.
Literature.


It’s you that I want.
I’m sorry for not believing.
I know you are the one.
My one and only.
Romantic.

 
Take these tears,
To show the world,
Take my blood,
And let me write:
True Love.

You only realize,
That you miss someone,
When they've left you,
Forever.

I was forced,
And I hated that place.
But I forgot there were good,
People like you.


I regret not thinking straight,
Because now I miss you,
I miss you smiling,
Cracking a joke all the time.

You sure didn't have the cleanest mind,
But that made you all the more funny,
Your humour,
And constant laughter.

I never hated you,
How would I?
You were so sweet,
So nice.

You got along with everyone,
Hid your feelings to the ones you hated.
But you changed ways behind their backs,
Making all of us laugh.

You're the one person I miss the most,
The one person I wish back.
The one person I want here with me,
The one that I need to make me smile.

I don't love you,
But I need you,
I need some happiness,
To turn this frown the right side.

I wish I could turn back time,
So I can treasure those moments with you.
I don't want to regret,
For being the worst friend.

You did laugh,
At the things you shouldn't,
But I forgive,
And I forget.

I dream of seeing you,
So many times,
I just want to say goodbye,
one last time.

But we're parting further,
So I can never see you again.
Connections fail,
To make me contented.

So, keep this poem,
so you can remember,
you changed my life,
and you'll stay in me forever.