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 Aug 2018 Tavi
Yule
rainy morning
 Aug 2018 Tavi
Yule
The sound of the pouring rain from the roof woke me up.

I got myself a chair in the patio of our house. I sat there comfortably, sitting in silence for a good whole minute.

I closed my eyes, letting the sound of the pouring rain immerse into me. Imagining myself getting soaked, as if I really am in the middle of the pouring rain, drenched, and laughing carefree in the distance.

"Being outside is nice huh?" I heard a pleasant voice behind me. I let my eyes stay closed for a moment, letting the cold wind meet my face to wake me up. I also welcomed his words, nodding at him with acknowledgement. I was then met with a chocolatey steam; he prepared us two cups of hot cocoa.

"Figured you're a bit cold." His voice sounded raspy, sleepiness still evident in his tone. I turn to him as he got himself another chair close to mine. He looks up a bit, seeping the rain onto his porcelain-like skin. He doesn't go out that much to get some sunshine as to why.

I hummed absentmindedly, warming up to his presence. There was a small smile across his lips, his eyes warmer than the hot drinks he have at hand.

I mirrored his smile, getting my cup from him.

"I kinda like the cold feeling but I wouldn't want to waste your effort." A chuckle escaped my lips, and his crescent-like smile appeared before me.

He drank from his cup as I sipped on mine, letting the vibe from around me flood my senses.

I love these little instances he would think of me. Slipping a thought into his tasks, gestures that show that he does take effort in remembering things I love. Like how I prefer hot chocolate over tea in rainy days, and how I love seeing his smile on early mornings. Even as he loathes waking up and moving off the bed so early. Oh how I love this man before me.

And we sat there in silence, side by side, letting the sky pour out its rain. Our cups at hand, the aroma of the cocoa steam over our senses, full to little to none, with the cold wind howling a bit in the distance.

This went on for an hour or so; I still couldn’t wrap around the idea of how much I love these instances. I had always found comfort in him between our silences and exchanges of glances. Just in him in general; he’s my blanket, my safety— the personification of home. My umbrella; my shade to my blazing sunny days and cover to cold rainy days. I looked over his broad figure from the back, I sigh in contentment.

And as if he heard the drizzle in my heart, he gave me a faint smile; a radiance just enough to soften the hues all around us. But just enough that he stands out amongst the drizzling rain over the sunlight peeking through the clouds.

I could see the raindrops wash over the dewiness of his skin, and it looks like it's starting to show signs of stopping. But I just want to stay, stay out here a bit longer.
The rain is still pouring hard outside.| 180609; 9:23 am

//  If I were asked what paradise would look like. This would be it.

{nj.b}
 Aug 2018 Tavi
Glenn Currier
Songs are threads that reach beyond
mortal matter of the planet’s bond
springing often unexpected  
like diamonds angel-selected.

Sounds from spirit spun in sky
half's and quarters low and high
enter our waiting souls
and linger there to make us whole.

Music soars beyond the flesh
reforms the old into fresh
hearing tones the artist composes
is breathing in a rally of roses.

Listening to music involves,
prepares, changes and evolves
it makes our humanity better
it is a sweet ethereal eternal treasure.

Written 7-23-18
This morning I was listening to Willie Nelson’s new song: “Something You Get Through.”  I’ve always loved his voice and even now this old man seems to be evolving, his voice is crackling a bit, but still he is cracked open by some incomprehensible creative force.  I have to think it is partly or mostly music itself.  This song, from this old soul, transported me as music often does.  I was no longer just waking up in my home on a Monday morning.  I was somewhere else.
 May 2018 Tavi
Vegan Meth Cake
me and u
holding hands
forever
miles away
 Apr 2018 Tavi
mark john junor
a cold ribbon of thought
its blackheart birth on the lips
of a madman whos eyes follow the truth
with skyrocket perfection
tell me about this dark thought you keep dreamin
together we can set this sinking ship aright
together we can unsink the dreams we had as children
the cold ribbon looks like a medal pinned
looks like a politicians smile
looks like a madman's eyeball
see the crazy light it gives off
feel the winter's breath in its gaze
entertain me with its song

here it comes again
looks so friendly
but look at the trail of empty lives it leaves
no matter what happens don't let me end like them
promise you take care of it
don't let em leave me an empty shell
gasping for air at some roadside death carnival
tapping my foot to some horrible song
put a bullet to my head so i don't end up like them
here it comes again look out
like some worm of the wasteland
like a smile lie in the darkness
looks like a lover but its a feeder

a cold ribbon of thought
calculating its next move with carefree abandon
look there see that girl
watch as the light in her eyes dies
watch as they **** the life out of her
the dreams cherished make a tasty meal
the hope so carefully crafted just in one bite
come on we can beat this thing
tell me this dark dream so we can unsink this ship
we can get away
slip away in the heartbeat of night
with the grace of the sullen eye
shallow *****
I don't like to do anything
Apart from hide away
The darkness comforts me
As I do nothing but lay

What makes me feel better
Makes you feel nothing at all
Because someone would pick you up
If you tripped and they saw you fall

People might laugh at me
Some might ask if I am okay
Knowing they don't give a ****
But it's their good deed for the day

The rain comforts me
Every raindrop is my friend
It's good because living here means
It's a friend on which I can depend

It may give me away
But I like to fake a smile
It makes some people happy
And that might make it worthwhile

It doesn't really matter
In the end it won't for sure
Because all I will have is the darkness
And my friend, the rain's downpour
 Apr 2018 Tavi
rantipole
my eyes open, sullenly.
not a movement from
my body,
but that of my left arm,
reaching out for
that awful device
that forces me
to comprehend
a drab reality.

tap to snooze

waking up from a dream
where every day isn’t
the same monotony,
and every class isn’t
the same anesthesia,
and every moment
isn’t enveloped
in the pain
of missing you.

tap to snooze

i lay here hoping
begging, even,
that this burden
of waking life will cease,
and that one day
i will cross over
to the sleep realm
and never again
will i need to
*tap to snooze
 Apr 2018 Tavi
Nicole
There's this battle in my head
Between doing what I want
And feeling like the biggest *****,
Or doing what will make others happier
And then I end up wherever there's left to be.
At least when they're happy I won't feel so selfish.
But then the unhappy thoughts return and I feel it just the same.
I was once told that you can never please everyone,
So why not at least please yourself?
Which sounds pretty genius,
Until I fall into another depressive episode.
Yeah they're just episodes now because it isn't all the time anymore.
I've at least gotten better that way.
 Apr 2018 Tavi
Jason
Bottled Delight
 Apr 2018 Tavi
Jason
Uncork the bottle,
And pour it quick!
It’s been a long, long day
And I need sip.

Wine, oh Wine
I’m glad you’re mine.
Without you, I fear
I’d lose my mind.

Your dark, luscious beauty
And your white gentle hues
Coax and ease
My stress to defuse.

On days like today,
And nights,
Like tonight,
It’s you I turn to
For some bottled delight.
The original works and writings of Jason Deegan.
All Rights Reserved. ©2015
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