The answer to all who seek it. The eternal valentine !!

I consider myself fortunate to have had a few good friends. I can count on one hand their number. This poem is meant for one in particular. Without whom I would not have made it to write this. Thank you Robyn! She gave me a certain Banana Republic shirt that I treasure. So count yourself a fortunate princess Robyn. Be assured I am one for whom your welfare will never be done. Being so scarce great friends are considered precious. The miracle many wish for is not in a life we missed. It lies within the life we have. And so friends give us the feeling that we are loved as much or more than we love others. Those few memories unlike most are the only ones we recall in color not black and white. This because they are associated with the colorful shirt that painted the brush strokes of our lives together and times apart.

It never seems to end. These prophets predicting doom. The time before it was the Millennium. This time a date from prophecy. Always it is the same story these phony prophets of the scriptures. And always they leave nothing but heartache and disbelief in their wake.

Our house had burned last summer. It was a telling time for sure. But through it all my son stood by me. He and he alone helped me rebuild what we had lost. I realized when he turned down going to the school to meet friends just to help me finish our new deck that he was a man. But as we passed smiles back and forth I also knew I was losing my little boy. It is a great feeling to know you have done well by your child. It is also so sad to realize that the day will soon come that I will have to let go. I can say when a man is a boy all the new days ahead are adventures. But to a father time seems to test your resilience. While everything is exciting to the young who find it new. Life makes us grow when older by learning to let go.

So often is this truth that we all dread the knock of the door.
For life's time waits on none of us
it masters fate with earnest callous
Caring for none in favored mercy
helping not whom it shows malice
To Grandpa Ed be it enough for him to know I am happy. To him I say "thank you for my life". His spirit lives in my heart and all the family.

Time has a way of answering our questions if we listen.

I am sure having known the Conrads that his children just wanted to keep him from harm. However men like Elmer can't be told what to do. They have led their lives by a code unlike the average man. Elmer was no average man! Elmer Conrad was a part of the track just as the history of our country. He was the constitution and conscience of us all. One time he cut ******* off with a chain saw and barely missed a beat. He played cards everyday. The old ones respected him. But I admired him. In all his years we never figured out many of the ways he had kept from us so long. The secrets he had learned followed him to the grave,as did our feelings and admiration for his spirit! As a young man I felt a little poorer for the loss of such a spirit. As if I wanted Elmer to witness my rise through the ranks and approve. Yet he would never get that chance. He had been the guest on the Carson show the year before as the oldest living Driver. I remember watching him and thinking he is so cool!
When I was real young I worked for 50 dollars a week night and day as apprenticeship 7 days a week, just to learn what I needed to survive. Those days served me well and they made a man of me. For 6 generations my family had raced horses. From that I look back with pride on those days and nights as the foundation of my character. I am not one who believes that finishing third is winning.I think we do our children a disservice by awarding them trophies for participation. It is the truth of life that excellence is the key to success. Life is meant to be hard.
I use to look at Elmer and I knew from the tip of his hat to me that he approved. He watched me work night and day. He saw with what deference I paid homage to my own father and in me I hoped he had found something of himself and the times that led to the man I was so enamored with and approved. He reminded me of my own grandfather who like Elmer was one of a kind!
May God Rest His Soul

I suppose we all want to believe that in the end we will be rewarded for our deeds. I say what matters in this life? Could it be we learn kindness is it's own reward? I will talk to God when and if I see him. But friends don't need help in Heaven. They need help on Earth. So I shall do the best I can with the resources allotted to me. May all your wishes come true.

It is always with the greatest humility that I admit that any man who holds within himself the feeling of greatness has a woman who grants him that bravado.

Life the timeless healer has once again conquered all. As what was once a torrid tempest has become a minute squall. The Light that burns twice as bright lasts half as long!

Such a metaphor for my own life the tin man. Often I am right as rain. Moments later set by depression and doubt. Then the rain comes washes away the blues and I am fine again. The sun comes up and shines upon me again.All my worries pale in consequence.
Tate

It is always after the fact that we notice the problems that we ourselves have fed.

I have given this much thought. Many friends over the years have asked me if they should confess to their lovers. I have come to see it is a selfish act. While most religions and 12 step programs say confess as the Catholics do. I say no. You are crushing the innocent partners soul with your confession. Sometimes it's better to take responsibility for your actions. Live with the pain of what you did. It will help guide you next time. When one laments the wrongs of their life it creates these pains. They are called the conscience. So live with them. And try to be better next time. I have made many mistakes and I shall atone for them in the end. I did these things myself and it is not for others to suffer the consequences. I am glad I will take my own transgressions with me. After all I am responsible for what I do as is everyone. I have spent many years trying to reconcile with myself. I am not saying I did anything truly awful. However I let myself down more than a few times in my youth.

It is a humbling thing to create a child. To see yourself through their eyes. Most men believe death the great equalizer. It isn't true at least for those who have passed away. The truth is the great equalizer is the birth of your own child. Only then do we fear the truth and realize our actions have consequences. We realize then everything we ever do from that point on will be studied and mimicked in fine detail. Reflecting good or ill upon our children's future. With them go the hopes and dreams of all humanity.

How many times do we walk by those we could so easily help?

It is always the bitterest of pills That which makes us look at ourselves for who we truly are. Not for the one we wished to be. Like many I am no stranger to vanity. We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.
Life has taught me there are three ways we are perceived.
1. The way we see ourselves
2. The way others see us.
3. The way we truly are

I pray all I am, all I may ever be, can be found in the hearts of those I have loved.
And who have dared to love me. As in the times of the ancient mariner we all hear the call of sirens that gesture us to sail home. Continuity of purpose flows from the wellspring of our lives. In the end we all find we are drawn inexorably home, to the hearth from around which we told our tales of long ago and spun our yarns of a life well lived. The well spent life will always beckon from the winds of change a call for home.

Will we never stop beating the drums of war ? Only to pave the streets of conquest with the souls of children. I wrote this after attending the funeral of a friends dear child. You know goodness has a sound to it. It is the laughter of children Who play unafraid in the streets of a town. Lacking that we have failed to secure anything. Goodness is not what we won't do. Nor some question of whom we exclude. It is the unselfish act of humanity. That sees ourselves in those we include.

The winter chill is much warmer and less biting to me this year. Having gotten married I see sunshine everywhere nowadays.

There is just something grandiose about the stately Willow Tree. I have always had a fondness for them and they for me. I often thought one day I might build my child a tree house within the arms of a Willow. I think in the end I would also like my ashes to be buried neath the same tree. Lately I was fortunate enough to run into my childhood friend. He the one who shared with me my own childhood. Upon his sainted mothers homestead stood a stately Willow. That tree watched over us all through childhood. And was privy to many an adolescent secret. His mother died a few years ago. He told me she had at her request been cremated. That her ashes had been poured in ceremony into Lost Creek. This the creek that almost claimed our lives once in a fool-hearty downriver adventure. It would seem so fitting that I would wish to be left under the tree around which I grew up along side the creek where his mother was laid to rest. I once told her I would never have had a childhood had it not been for her. Her tears seemed to signal she took it well. Gladys Williams was without a doubt the greatest woman I ever knew. She and she alone holds the mantle of the most selfless soul I ever met. Gladys if you are up there listening this man wants to thank you for the wonders of life and love you showed me.
May God watch over her.

It isn't so hard to understand the differences in love and usury.
One is selfish the other selfless.

My ex wife and I were asked to dinner a month ago. Andrew asked me for my daughters hand in marriage. I said" have you asked her?" "Nope" he said. "Well what if I said no?" "Well I guess I wouldn't be able to ask her then." "Oh yeah you can marry my daughter I said." So last night we went to dinner in Dayton Ohio. We were near the campus of the University of Dayton. That is where they met 6 yrs ago. I did not know till later it had been that very day 6 yrs ago.Oh if only you coulda seen it A sign was draped off the building to tell her he had something to say. So the students had gathered round. Then last night exactly 6 yrs to the day at 5:57 pm the moment they had met he got down on one knee in front of his family my family all his friends and hers and proposed on the green it was great. How he managed to get all the friends and relatives there I don't know. Because none of us lived there. Even he and she were both in Cincinnati where Aris is getting her Masters degree. The funny thing is Tate says to me he had visited Aris there yrs earlier at 11 yrs old. Aris had she said "quick Tate hide behind the bookshelf there's this guy who is stalking me he knows I have a boyfriend. But he keeps coming to my room asking me for help with homework But he is as smart as me he doesn't need help" lol It was Andrew her fiancee who won her heart and beat out the guy she was dating for her hand. I tried to pay for dinner. However Andrews father wouldn't hear of it. Obviously like father like son. He had already handled the bill. So I offered to buy him a drink. He suggested we all go down the street to a pizza place and bar where the kids hang out. So we walked down the street and a drunk yelled at us " Hey your the girl that got engaged aren't you?" Lol We get to the place and open the door. There inside were all of my daughters friends from life. Those Aris went to school with from kindergarten through college including her cousins. They had come from all over the state. Andrews friends had come from further, as far away as Georgia. Now none of the parents on our side knew they were there. It was the most moving scene in recent memory. I'll tell you it takes a confident man to arrange all this and not have my daughter find out. Risking it all on the hope she will say yes. He had gotten the ring almost a yr ago. But had been saving for it for a yr and a half. He asked her to marry him the very minute on the very spot where they had met 6 yrs before. I know we all left there knowing we had met a master of romance . For making my daughters dreams come true I tip my hat to this boys character.

We tend to be such a predictable as a species. Predatory to the core. Yet here and there I see hope of evolution taking a kinder approach.
Lets Hope before we **** us all.
Written for the turbulent 60's and all they gave and took from us.

There is no point in asking Why Me truth is because you are available .

Around 1990 I was out in western Canada in the mountains near the north west territories when I came upon this missing town. Sometime between 1907 and 1910 a small town was lost to a earthquake. There I came face to face with history. This is an attempt to do justice to those whose warm hearts are buried there in the cold cold ground.

Who among us can their heart doesn't go out to the poor. Especially when we enjoy the holidays as we see they are alone. Who can say with any assurance Just which way the wind will blow when we finally set our sails? I had a friend here tell me he just had a daughter and was so happy. Then he said "But I am homeless and she and my wife went to live with my wife's family". It broke my heart. How lucky are we to be safe and warm?

This for my friends may I always have the door open when they need me.

What can I say about this village but it is heaven on earth? Here you will think you went back to the 60s. The art fairs and galleries are accented by the ancient architecture. Home to Antioch College and the Glen Helen it echos back to a simpler time. You won't find Target or Walmart. You will see and meet the local artisans. Perhaps you will even find a music festival out on main street. You will never want to leave. For here is where memories and dreams were made and still live.

I watch my son and his first love with great intent. I can only hope he has learned from my mistakes. It is entirely possible these two will go on to live lives shared by each. While as a parent I would love to spare my child from the pain that often comes from first love, I realize that would be wrong. I am glad these two have each other. To watch them together is to see myself as a boy and remember my first love. I can but only hope they find what their hearts desire within each other and then of course within themselves.

It is always the inner hope striven for throughout our lives that at one time our dreams will intersect with our reality. Such has been my own experience these last 4 years. A life spent alongside the one you love gives the meaning and purpose so sought for and desired. Happy Anniversary Becky!
Tate
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/aristate/1067849/

I decided long ago that when the winds blew me cold and long. I would simply look within myself. For memories of days when I was sleek, fast and strong.