Tanzdreamer: Favorites

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

witchy woman

No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
Gone

Gone.

The titles also a radiohead song. But it doesnt seem like a bad idea. Erase everyones memories of me and just leave. Fall back into the everlong seas of black unconcious and then hopefully to the end of time- the extraterrestrial, super inconcievable meaning of life. I believe we find it when we die. I dont even know, I dont think anyone loves me so its about that time.

#depression #illness #anxiety #hope #mental #**** #wish #invisible #bipolar #socialanxiety

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

weird language am i

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

R Saba

weird language am i

spent years wandering halls
cutting the "i" from my sentences
forming words from vowels
and emotions from consonants
hard and solid, but nothing
without that internal structure

guess that describes me pretty well
all consonants, harsh "t" and definite "d"
and the ever-slippery "y", like me
never making up its mind

felt like a half-learned language
still do, really
like someone forgot to learn the proper nouns
forgot to turn the sentence around
grab the sound and speak it

there's an accent colouring my life
awkward and stuttering, unsure
and never fluent enough
to step in time with the music
for long enough to make it matter

words from vowels
and emotions from consonants
hard and solid, but nothing
without that internal structure

oh the English language

#words #awkward #emotion #feeling #nothing #language #speaking #learning #accent #depersonalization

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

Communicate (Introverted #1)

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

Hannah

Communicate (Introverted #1)

Communication is the key
but my hands are shaking
as I start the ignition

-h.w.

#anxiety #nervous #introvert #key #communication #socialanxiety

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

A letter i should write one day..by jude kyrie

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

Jude kyrie

A letter i should write one day..by jude kyrie

It has been many faded years since I lost you.
Yet the memories of you are indelible.
I know we are very different you and I.
You with your dreams in the heavens
Plans that were cascading in the planets.

Me, so grounded to planet earth
Afraid to take the risk of wild dreams.
Yet I loved you, and
I swallowed my fears like a pill.
I climbed aboard your spaceship.

Even though it was inevitable that I would
One day fall back to earth.
Knowing all of this,even now
I would not change anything about us.

For just a small moment
I touched the moon and stars
and visited the vast unknown.
And it was you who took me there

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

DISSOLVING

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

zody rose wang

DISSOLVING

the floor is icier than the last time i crumbled down here. i'm enclosed within the walls of eerie silence, blackness all around me, enveloping my terror, releasing my pain. tears seem to find their own way down to the floor, first dancing with delight, then solidifying and morphing into dark crystals. what is more comforting than the fetal position? the escape that has been written repeatedly into my screenplay of a life.

#pain #illness #disorder #hurt #darkness #mental #suffering #breakdown #bipolar #poetryprose

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

dissolving

Dec 2017 Tanzdreamer

Denise

dissolving

memories like bullets
are firing at me from a gun
the fists fly from my mouth
as it's all turning south
my life is crashing into the sea
because there's no you and me
I'm vacuumed packed
shrink wrapped out of air
lost and alone
sinking like uranium
radiating all these manic fish
floating in this deep blue foam
screaming that it's okay
but I'm a tidal wave
trying to tear down their dawn
and this whole world is watching
me feeling so far from so close
I can't have come this far
just to sink into earth

I don't know what the title of this should be, let me know if you have an idea.

Nov 2017 Tanzdreamer

the healing process

Nov 2017 Tanzdreamer

Madisen Kuhn

the healing process

no use in wondering if you saved my letters
or still look at photographs of me and sigh
because at the end of the day
when i’m wrapped up in sheets and blankets
wearing wooly socks and thick leggings and flannel
i’m still cold
and you’re still
so far away
in so many ways
and i miss you, i miss you, i miss you
i miss you
but i can’t tell you
and i won’t tell you
because even if you miss me
like i miss you
i’m the one
who tripped up the stairs
and even if you offered me a hand
(you didn’t, that’s okay)
i couldn’t take it
because i need to clean
the cuts on my knees
and wait for the bruises to fade
on my own
so while it seems that you’re fine now
with taking the stairs two at a time,
i’m still trying
to stand on my feet
and i miss you, i miss you, i miss you
i really freaking miss you
and i’m trying so hard
to be strong

written on 10/12/13

Nov 2017 Tanzdreamer

psycho spiral

Nov 2017 Tanzdreamer

enin

****** spiral

drowning in caffeine
breathing the nicotine
my blood cant circulate - your love will stimulate.
the ****** of death in **** will simulate
your touch , my need
as we spiral in to sin

separation , depression , paranoia
anxiety - the absence of my sleep
aggression , desperation
toxicity - of a drama we are in
discoloration - i can't control the spin

screams - muted by bitter pills
our dreams - induced by the acid
capsuled lives - longing self destruction
your embrace - disconnection
release me from what is real

obsession - for what we cannot fix
frustration - for what we can't control
memories - of what we used to be
delusions - of what we could have been
isolation - thoughts of being free
now voices dictate what i should feel
digging through my skin - opening the wounds
put your fingers in

remembering the days when we held
an illusion no drugs could replicate
i can't forget.
exchanging promises of never letting go
was it all in my head?
i can't escape the hole.
i walk the road alone.