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erin Nov 2013
You told me I was pretty
expecting it to please me;
I don't care about pretty.
Pretty
means
nothing.
Anyone can judge who
they think I am with just
a glance.
I want someone who wants
to know me.
I want someone who will
take the time to break
down my walls
brick
by
brick.
I want someone who can
see through me down to
my bones.
And then I want them
to tell me I am
beautiful.
Because it will have
nothing
to do with my appearance.
erin Nov 2013
When I think of past loves
I get lost in the feeling
of memories-

For the boy with tattoos
I smell musty perfume
and recall the recklessness
that raged through that summer.

For the boy on the bike
I see crisp fall nights
that were plagued with regret
of not leaving sooner.

For the boy who drove the jeep
I hear distant cars on the street
as we're stumbling in skates
wearing smiles that we faked.

But for the boy who plays guitar,
defining you is hard.
You outlasted every season,
different phase and stupid craze.
When I think of you I think of years
several smiles, several tears.
There is no scent that triggers your face,
no sound nor touch nor place.
I only fathom of today, and as for memories-
they're still being made.
erin Nov 2013
Do not forget
to appreciate the
subtle curvature
of greying branches.
Do not denote
the secrets of nature
she saves for those
who seek them.
For when I lay
in the soft blades
of grass,
I gaze up at the
sea of stars and
gasp.
Because we
are so small
and she
is infinite.
erin Nov 2013
If I had a nickle
for every time you
looked at her
I would have
seven dollars and fifty-five cents

If I had a dime
for every time you
turned away from me
I would have
fifteen dollars and ten cents

If I had a quarter
for every time you
laughed at something
I didn't say
I would have
thirty seven dollars and seventy-five cents

If I had a dollar
for every day
I have loved you
I would have
one hundred and fifty one dollars

If I had a dollar
for every time you
thought of me
when there were
ten minutes left
in class
and your mind
refused to be tethered
to irregular verbs
I would have
to get
a job.
erin Nov 2013
I try to elucidate your gaze
from across the room
What do you think?
What do you see?
What events replay in your
memories?

I want to explicate your movements
as you shift in your seat
A worried bite of your lip?
A sigh of fatigue?
How would you act
if you thought of me?

I steer my thoughts back to something
more germane to the subject
The Union loss at
Antietam Creek
But then you open
your mouth to speak-

And I think of orchestras
the instruments and sounds
moving, flowing
together

I think of night
thousands of stars flooding
the sky

I think of poems
that I can't begin to understand
but all so lovely

I think of wolves howling
flowers blooming
waves receding

I think of the wind blowing
between my fingers
while my hand rests outside
the window of
your truck

And I think of you.
I always think of
you.
erin Nov 2013
I wish I could capture the moment
of you leaning in closer
to whisper in my ear
"You are everything to me"
and replay it over and over
until the words lose meaning
and all that's left
is the feeling they give me
so I could always feel
just like
the sun
erin Nov 2013
Sometimes I feel like
I'll never
get out of here.
And maybe I'll never
find what makes me happy.
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