I hope you know
Theres a Poloroid of you
On my wall.
4 years and 13 days to the date
You disappeared,
I loved you then
You danced across wood floors
Dropped jaws
You spun me up in your silk

You made me feel flawless from a hundred miles away
I wished I could spend every day with you
I still do

I don't know where you are now,
the world swallowed you whole
Im tired
And cold
And you  brought me warmth
I just wondered if you where wondering
That after all this time
If I still kept that Poloroid  of you
On my wall

I swore I'd never be that girl
I'd keep my backbone
Watch from the stands
Armed with popcorn
And an extra-large slushie
Kick my feet back,
Enjoy the show in front of me
Watch those foolish teens
High on hormones
Fall in and out of love.

I swore I’d never stoop down to that level,
Lose everything
For unforgiving heartbreak.
I would stay
High above
In my impenetrable
Throne in the clouds.

I swore I’d never
As those three words
Ran across my lips.
With an “and I mean it”
Tacked on at the end.

This morning will be a different one, for he will meet a girl
With an auburn eyes, a winsome smile and a hair that is curl
Strange she is, but in a beautiful kind of strange

The boy will stop and stare, will be lost in her haunting sad eyes
She will not notice, and will never knew, that cupid has
shot the boys young heart

The boy found a reason to go out every morning
To see her again, he was hoping
For her smile becomes the sun that brightens his day

He will sit from afar, and with an admiring eyes, just watch her
She paints, she reads, and sometimes plays with her dog's fur
He will silently watch and enjoy the beautiful scenario

It goes for almost a week
"I must be crazy, why do I stalk this chic?"
But he doesn't know the answer

All he know is, the girl brings peace to his heart
Her eyes and smiles are a piece of a pure art
and her laughter is a song to his ears

He could not explain it, watching her makes him happy
and sends a warm chill to his heart, very fancy
"I need to know her name"

The next day, the boy waited in vain
But the girl never came
"I'll wait again tomorrow"

It's been a week, but she never showed up again
In his chest a sadness and pain
Could not accept, she looked for the girl

He found out that the girl loves to paint
But the smell of the chemical will cause her to faint
That's why she sneaks out and do it once in a while

He found out that the girl loves reading
But her eyes failed her, every letters are dancing
That's why she sneaks out and pretends to read

He also found out that her hair was just a wig
And her red lipstick was to hide her pale lips
And finally he found out her name








With a sound of a breaking heart
He reads her name
*On her graveyard

We are 9 miles away from D.C.,
the eye of the storm on the twentieth.

The suburbia love we had,
storm- before- the -calm  kind of meeting we had on this chaotic day.

9 miles away is the city we love
It is a refuge for our boredom and our doomed relationship
On the metro ride, on the E street and somewhere near Farragut West
We watched small budget movies, had ice cream or playing with each others' hands fondly.

We are several blocks away from all the barricades,
So why don't we get in closer and go to Chinatown Coffee
and then wandering down the H street.

In the suburb,  I do not feel peace,
Because the storm is coming.
I'd rather go in the eye of the storm,with you
Where you fell for me.

This Capital love of ours , on the outskirts of D.C.
Where in a perfect world we would both live in,
like last time you told me on the way to E street.

By: Ramon Carlos T. Castillo (Jack Wilder)

We're in the days of our youth,
It's the perfect time to be alive,
Young and naive in the world of reality's mess,
So come with me and spread your arms wide,
Throw your problems and hang on tight,
We're about to break free and fly,
Going to disappear into the night,
Only being seen on the shades of traffic lights,
No worries, no tomorrow to bother about,
Just now and the both of us,
Gone with the wind fading into the darkness,
Forever, yes we'll be,
Forever, we'll be young.

Not much has changed, has it?
Same friends, though some have passed-
all the same, as they last.
Some still hanging by their thread,
some thought better of when they're dead.

Don't you flounder further fish!
The one you want is one you've missed.
Track back
           find his contact.
He asked for 10,
           give him 30
He's given more in the end...

I want to know if you think of me too
I want to know why you gave up on me
And why you lied to me
I wish I hadn't given up on you.

Even if we didn't end up together in the end
I wish I would've given us a chance
So I'd know what it's like
And so I'd know if it would've worked out

I wish I would've pressed harder when I knew you lied
I wish I would've said yes to you once; you asked so many times
I wish I would've told you I'd still be with you when we talked
I'm sorry I reacted the way I did

I'm sorry I hurt you
I'm sorry I blew you off with no explanation
You were one of my best friends
You were my first love.

Did you know that?
You were.
I cared about you so intensely at such a young age
Part of me always will.

I assumed we'd get married
Did you know that too?
We had so much fun
We were such close friends

I want to know you're happy
I want to know you're doing well
I wish I could talk to you
And at least have you tell me those things.

But I can't say anything to you
It would be considered inappropriate
But we never got closure
Do you want that too, or is it just me?

I wish you knew these things
I have no idea what you think of me now
Or if you've forgotten about me
Or if I was special to you like you were to me

Or if you loved me too
And if so, if you'll always care about me
And never forget me
I'll never forget you

I'm sorry I was a **** to you when we were younger
I've gotten older, wiser, more mature, more understanding, and more loving
I'm sure we've both changed because everyone does
I've changed a lot, but otherwise, I'm the still same girl you were crazy about.

I never intended to hurt you
I did what I thought I needed to at the time
I've known better for quite a while now
And I'm sorry.

I hope you're happy
And that life is treating you well
I wish you the best
Know I always will, okay?

I wish you knew what you did to me
How I keep going back to it
That I'm hung up on it
Unless you'd think it's pathetic

My gosh, why can't I let you go?
I ridiculously pine
I know you've been idealized
And romanticized in my mind

But it started out so perfectly
We were just kids who became good friends
Then best friends
Then we came to care deeply for each other

We decided to wait until we were older to date
But then we never did
Because of me
I rejected you too many times

So eventually, you gave up on me
Now my mind has a warped reality
My heart still harbors you inside
And sometimes I'm reminded

******, why didn't I just kiss you?
I actually wish I knew what that was like
My gosh, am I horrible?
Utterly obscene?

I was so afraid to even date you
I think I ******* up big time
Did I?
Am I wrong?

How I wish I knew.
The world is not so black and white anymore
There is lots of gray
And it's nothing like I expected.

I miss you.
I miss us.
Please tell me you're okay.
Please tell me you're happy.

I wish I could send you a message somehow
So you'd know I'm sorry
And that I wish you well
For always

They're gone
She was crying this morning
It's like an apocalypse of love
Doesn't seem to be much hope

Then how can you still be here
In my peripheral vision
How are we expected to last
If no one else could

Here’s to what if.
What if everything that happened between us was meant to be?
What if we could start over?
Would you be willing to meet again?
Or would you just stay in your ways and move on with life,
never questioning?
Maybe we weren’t meant to be together then,
but we’re older now and things, they change.
So have we? My feelings for you haven’t.
I still love you.
Do you love me?

- kmh