in my arms
lies someone new
but in my heart
i wish it was you.

That one silent moment between the two
That one warm hug, that one kiss
Sealing your moment of white being mixed with passionate red
Both unaware beyond your bubble of serenity
And it feels so good to be alone; a constant binding with you

amidst all blue,
all pure caribbean,
i thought of the ocean and the blooming gray sky

amidst all metallic
all sunflower yellow,
i thought your eyes could never look so alive.

it was 9 at night
in the backseat, full of sweat

and you looked at me like
everything living between us was silence,
not heated breaths or shaking chests
not your hands dug into the caves of my body.

and i closed my eyes not to forget
but to remember
and i leaned up
amidst the color of your lips
and everything felt like red

I went home that day, and I wrote about the boy in the green hoodie. I thought a lot about him, but I couldn't wrap my mind around what exactly it was that I liked about him. It could have been the way he danced at midnight in my mind. Dancing around the moon painting pictures of my thoughts. It could have been the way he made me feel when I had no feelings at all. No emotions to untangle, none at all. I think it was the thought of the memories we would create, the ones I could go home to tell mother about. The thing is though I never figured it out. I never knew of any other boys like the one in the green hoodie but, I never once believed it is true that I’d find someone new that was just like you.

I held his hand
as if I hadn’t felt the palm
hundreds of times before,
all of my words
interlaced
in our quiet fingertips.
I kissed those lips—
they tasted like mint and ***
stolen from his parents’ kitchen cabinet.
I kissed and kissed
until I could almost forget
how restless I’d become.

i told you
to be happy
even if thats not with me
i told you
you deserve the best
even if thats not me
i told you
i love you more
and i guess i was right