i want to be the reason there is light inside your eyes again. the reason you worship the sunrise, instead of clinging red knuckled to the end of each dying day.

I alerted you
For my heart was already put on hold
By another human being
And you said goodbye forever
I can't wait no more
I was devastated for me
But much for you
Because I knew you missed out on something
Extraordinarily true,
Goodbye may be our last words
But I no forever was along side those words too;
So you and me could never be
Happiness forever
Except when we read between the lines I know
I know it  to be there somewhere; forever!

At times you will tether
yourself to another
And pull hand over hand
just to discover
you've woven every strand
but all you are holding
is a rope made of sand

Who are you
To text me
Call me
Message me

Get my hopes up

Thinking it's him
Him

I fell in love with that
Calm smile
Happy
And content

I fell in love with those
Long
Smooth fingers
Intertwining with my own
And my heart

I fell in love with
Long talks over the internet
Tight hugs when I see you again

I fell in love with
His eyes
Bright
And dark
Knowing
And innocent

I fell in love with him
*And I hate myself for it.

Its been a thousand years
And it feels like yesterday
This little amazing unworthy girl
How could this be true?
How could i still harm myself like this?

How could i shine so bright and at the same time just fade?
How could i be everything and nothing at the same time?
How could i be useless and the greatest?

I thought i wanted you so bad,
And then i met someone else,
And instead of you, i wanted him to stay
That's when i realized what i really wanted was me

Dreams,
Become as wings that will outshine my sadness
Cutting through the cold darkness
In this world where the wind blows like a knife
Dreams,
Be my armor and protect me through the night

By protecting me from this cruel world
Where despair and hope wear the same face
Dreams,
You have been shattered
Pieces of you have been scattered

My gentle chest aches,
By the fragment of you that pierced me
But I found joy with this pain
For I have kept a part of you in my heart
As long as I feel pain
I will be happy
For I will know that a fragment of you
Still resides in my heart

Those fragment of my wings that have scattered
To different worlds maybe
Worry not for I will destroy those walls
That separates you and me

I will make all the worlds as one
So there will always be You and Me

Then, Dreams,
Become my wings that outshine my sadness
Turn my loneliness to strength
So that I could believe
These tears, falling down still
Shall be changed to smiles one day.