Did this really just happen.
Did I understand what he said?
That simple "I love you" will ring in my ears forever.
Do I believe it?
Probably not.
Should I leap?
Should I trust him?
No.

Doctor run a complete blood test
Something isn't right
Or is it all normal to be in pain?

Anticipation heights within me
I cannot hold this pensive feeling
I'm climbing walls and hugging ceiling
My thoughts won't let me be

This hesitation strives inside me
I can't release this burning feeling
I'm scratching marks and hitting ceiling
My mind hates OCD.

when it pains me to propel,
skin too fuzzy

and your text shows up
an empty box.
nothing to say
and you'll  say it twice,
never is enough

I disappear
a swaying head
a wish
and repeat.
though these tousled eyes can barely cry
long enough to hold a conversation

and if i'd drain my mind there'd be a large
brown thud of you
tangled in tawny fur and sorrow
all covered up in crumply pixelated images
and rubber and whiskey and goo

soul steeped in darkness,
seeps through my pores

and those grainy black dots form and disappear
at the corners of my vision,
racing along the sides of my view like tiny flies without wings.