For me, he screamed vibrant yellow
under the pale July morning
He seemed to capture me in a distance
For the longest, I have been a sunflower
drooping down low
Till your rays come shining down on me;
you're the warmth I never saw coming
Ever since that day you passed me by
I've been wishing for another chance
can I ask you to give me another glance?
I want to get closer, I want to get near
For us to get to know each other all the more
You have been the one I'm praying for
For now I can only look at you at bay
I'll just go on and reach your hand
when I'll get the chance to ask you to stay

I can’t seem to understand,
how drifting dreams can pull my hand.
You won’t let my mind take leave,
Crushing me with cords of creativity
Your personality screaming in my ears,
and blinding me with yellow,
finding almost every way to make me feel low.

We are the very essence of Ares and Aphrodite
A fighter, and a lover
I am Venus, bringer of peace
And her, Mars, bringer of war
We could never exist without each other
Yet we both want to,
Need to,
Desperately.
There is no peace without war.
There is war without peace.
Who am I to you?

lemon, sticky frosting, dry lips.
fingernails painted with nothing other than mustard.

toxicity measured in sweetness.
plummet into the acidic taste of citrus fruit.

when you finally kiss me, it's all marigolds,
and some dirt.

dream pop car rides, cotton candy skies;
like those songs with excessive descriptions about eyes.

the girls with green hair, and black boots
but you're all yellow, gold, butter, honeysuckle.

ma jolie citron.

my pretty lemon, honey eyes.

Books on the shelf
The pages yellow with age
marking time's passage

I am bisexual. I am sure of that.
I've been sure of it for quite some time now.
I came to realize something.
If I end up with a woman I am going to embrace the essence of everything that's broken and ****** up about me and claim it as my own and let it define my identity.
Now don't get me wrong that doesn't mean it's gonna be a sad life or that my female partner will make me miserable.
No!
We will have lots of amazing and breathtaking moments and happy yellow days.
But there will always be some gray in the corner of my vision.
Gray will never leave.
All of my depth will forever be in the back of my mind.
And depth requires some darkness.
But I will be fully me. Real me. A picture frozen in time.

However, if I end up with a man I will probably abandon my depths and my grays.
I will forever be feeling like some part of me is missing but I will be leading a whole new life which will be about learning to love myself and nothing will ever be broken.

Do I even make sense?
What does that say about me?