I've seen love burn like wildfires—
Born of passion, but doomed by desires.
Engulfed in flames of anger and darkness,
Consuming hearts to war and madness.

They spiral, trying to quench the pain,
Only to stoke the fumes again.
They kept burning, burning, and burning—
Until all that’s left were charred bones and yearning.

You are nothing, my dear.

The “nothing” I refer to
when someone asks:
“whatcha thinking about?”

You’re the empty side of the bed—
The cooler half I always chase,
where the thought of you
still sleeps in place.

You are the goosebumps
I may never feel
but wake for everyday.
You are the intangible wrinkle,
the tiny little seam I slip into
when my thoughts begin to fold.
You’re the nowhere I run to
when this house
no longer feels like home.

Because the incessantness
of the voices in my head
often leave me speechless —
Tongue tied and tense,
Social anxiety neutralizing
my offense.

My fight or flight
can only float for so long
before it hears the void humming low
like an old song I know.
I drift to it,
even when I try not to go.

You are the silence that arrives
to euthanize my wandering mind

when I’m much too weak
and have nothing to keep—

when it’s time to casket

my thoughts to sleep.

And maybe then,

when my breath starts to cease,

I'll fall into you—

and finally know peace.

So when I say you are nothing,
and I say I am too,

the words may match,
But they don’t both mean you.

I call myself nothing

with venom,
with shame—

like I’m empty of worth,

just a ghost with no name.

But you—

You’re the kind of nothing
that pulls galaxies into shape.
You’re the fold in my brain
where a thought should be,
The crevice in my soul
Where loneliness should feast
but instead
it’s coconut lullabies,
Sipping on mai-tais,
with a you-shaped breeze.

You are greed
when it comes to my ability to breathe
because all you do is take.
You are nothing
because no thing compares itself
to the multitudes you contain.
Dares to give name to
that weightless ache
that makes fools of us all.

So I say you are nothing,
my dear.
in the way that love is nothing
Until it ruins you completely—
and somehow still makes you whole.

You are nothing,
but only in the way
stars are nothing
until they’re given a name.

But until then,
You are simply something
I can’t explain.

you made me miss the train in my dream: my fault for staring so long
i walked home alone that day, in the rain
singing some stupid tune to myself

did you think of me?
sitting there in contemplation, aside those ever-clear windows
did you look for me?
like i look for you in the morning commute and math before recess and anywhere everywhere in that sprawling liar we call memory

i know you didn't
but truly, it's fine
you will someday
when i muster up my courage and take that big leap

yes, w.

i would leap in front of a train if it meant you looked at me for just one second

or at least i would in the dream

but really, i'm so scared
scared of your acknowledgement, scared of your indifference
scared of your love, scared of your hatred
most of all scared that i might die without you ever having cared

so i wait and ponder and rot away
and course toward that cruel fate i so dread
such is reality

but not my fantasy:

w., i hope i get hit by a train in your dream

Her smile brings his dark skies sunshine
Her eyes pull the tides back to the shoreline
Like the sea to the moon, he kept gravitating
He thinks of her her not me but her

He smiles that secret smile and I know he’s smitten
Blame it on the love bug, he said; he’s been bitten
Would’ve been a fairy tale happy ending
If I was her her can I be her

Her warm embrace thaws his stone cold heart
I’d know, coz he and I are same from the start
As I stay trapped in our past, she changed him for the better
She’s his salvation, and he loves her her her

I hoped and prayed that I be worthy
Of his mind and heart, not his folly
But a garden **** like me can never make him happy
If I was him, I won’t look at another

I’d choose her her always her

Those eyes that have always shone with glee
Those lips I have prayed could utter its love to me
Those arms which smell of safety and home
Those hands which tell me I’m not alone