i tell people that you have an impossibly calming effect on my mind’s eye, that i love how your words are blankets around my unsteady existence, but in truth loving you is far more than stillness in my head, it’s more like a sky full of eyes watching the way i’ve grown onto you like lichen, rooting myself and hardening like wax around your spine every time we hold each other a bit too long; like brewing oleander tea in your mouth and happily taking sip after sip in hopes that you will one day **** me with your kisses; it’s not always a soft codeine high but more often my own head screaming at itself: this is it, this is love, true happiness, you can’t have it, you can never have it -- the future is uncertain and i drift endlessly on; i am sand, i am opinion, ever-changing -- loving you is like shooting stars falling to earth in the form of crystals cracking onto sacred seas of mirrors, like teeth and gold and black bedsheets that explode into crow’s wings, like my bones have been off-kilter in my body since the moment the first words you said to me fell from your lips and pooled in my ears, like your kisses are lies but my dread is real; it feels like the still-warm skin, the still-warm skin that knows, knows about her, the still-warm skin that will tell everyone you know; the sun hides from view so the clouds can have me now; but your voice triggers flint flickers ears ringing teeth click, sky-eyes shut tight and i am impossibly calmed by you once again

I hide my soul
So no one can destroy it
Pull at it
Talk too it
I hide my soul
So no one can see me
Free me.
I hide my soul
Only on paper
I do not hide,
I hide me
I'd like too be set free like the stormy seas
Like the winter breeze
For now I like too see me as
a willow Tree
This would set me free
I think
For now I'll hide me
I don't want too be free
I'm frightened .

Don't you try and tell me  my dear friend  that how love can be so beautiful, when all love brought me was shattered parts of my personality
, that I'm still picking up today.
Don't tell me that true love will make me a better person all love made me was bitter , sad., lonely. .lost, weak
I will sit on the self forever collect dust
Bitterly tasting nothing.I will safely rote away .

You called us too passing ships in the night
I said oh alright, goodnight,shut the door, fell too my knees,
God  lord or jesus too whom do I pray,
As I'm in dismay too what I say ,
This language we talk of, I'm not very   good at.
we call love,
As I let myself down ,I drowned in self pity,
I show all my sides, I pray I did not hide,
Well but, a little shy,
I need a reply,
Just a look my way ,
Would help me along the road of love
Or a  warm Wray from an angels open wings
Just too hear them sing,
That would guide me in my quest for love .
I pray I fall in love use my good sides
If a little shy,
God lord or jesus hear my cry
Hear my prayers
I need a love lullabie,
I need too feel loved.
I need the right person too come my way I pray
God, lord , or jesus .

I've been called a monster before
I thought thats a lie
But I hide just like a monster
Deep inside I have a part of me I hide
I despise.

I don't want too be a monster
That hides
I scare people away with just one stare
I frighten  my kids away
I will not be a monser

I will not be that monster
That shouts and scream in my dreams
That eats my soul
while I sleep.

I will beat my monster
I will love myself
I will  care for my monster
So it never give a stair that scares people away.
I will smile like a sunrise
And play like a rainbow too brighten my kids day.
I will care abouy my monster So it feels it safe.

I don't want too be a monster.

I was cueing for a bus today
I had not the right money and needed too stay,
A man gave me 50p so I could be on my way
A act of kindness goes along way
A simple act of kindness that blew me away x thankyou too the man that day his name is Peter who helped me stay x

I love the snow
the wind blows her beautiful  coat around us
She rests in our hair
She lay deep at night
She is but quite
Silently she lays
Ready for kids too play.
She is but deep white and endless
I love the snow x

I walk along same paths everyday
I never look for what on display
Birds singing dancing away
Sun out beating it's play
I feel the warm rays
This washes my cares away.

Ive walked this  path everyday
Today my feet move with the sun's dancing  beat with  the dancing of the little Robins feet.

I take my time on this warm spring day I take it all in , it warms me within

Moving with the sun beat
I'm dancing with the little Robins feet
I Shuffle muffle with the hedgehogs snuffle,  pushing through ***** leave i just love this spring time beat
I'm dancing to the little Robins feet .

Whey is it i stray with you
I play with you
Why is it is lay with you so easy
I give my self freely
I shame myself with you
I look a fool
Why do I stray with you
I do.