To burn like an ember is of no
worth till one doesn't glow like an
ember.

thin strings made of the self
there is a desperate need for a knot
she feels worthless and empty
wanting to fade into the clouds above

I am from my birth pillow.
I am from loneliness, sadness...
spaciness...
...I was always looking for something.

I am from dandelions and tall, tall grass.
The breeze sifted through the yard, and the
blades swayed in perfect synchrony.

I am from Christmas Eve at Grandpa's
house, and the low status gifts.  From
****** communication.  From stones, and Nelsons.

I am from living in fear,
and abandonment.  From,"You're like him."
And luckily from, "You weren't MEANT to fit in."

I am from the cross and communion, and then
realizing I cannot see his face in nature's mirror.
With my own reflection being distorted by the glass.

I am from Illinois, and Scandinavian blood...
From potato soup and at times, nothing.
I am from her absence, and how fast she left.

I am from burnt up, few remaining, and rare pictures.
I am from toys I once collected, now melted.  The pillow
I had now gone.

I am from the feeling I had a consumerists mark
on the world, but my impression is more.  More than
toys or things, I have who I am.  My memories.

I have my worth.

Dear 16 year old me,
                                     Life is worth living.
Two years from now you end up moving three hours away and meeting two of your best friends in the entire world.
You write a book.
Sell your art like you've wanted to since you were nine.
Express who you really are.
Get the confidence to finally get the help you need.
Fall deeply in love while simultaneously experiencing heartbreak.
There will be trials that will seem like you'll never overcome but trust me, you will and you'll come out even stronger than before.
Life is worth living.
I know you're contemplating on ending it but please believe me when I say life gets better.
Not easier, but better.
I love you and our life
                                          From,
            ­                                         20 year old me