Like rocks in my stomach,
Pulling me down,
I feel such guilt,
But I don't know how.

I do this accidentally,
Every single time,
I always type so hastily.
What is wrong with my mind?

When your mood changes,
I feel so weak.
I know its my fault,
And I almost wish to weep.

I never want to make you hurt,
But I worry that I do,
I wish that I was there,
So I could show that I cared for you.

And every time you end up sad or mad,
Or somewhere in between,
I get so nervous that its over,
Lost for eternity.

I don't know how to apologize,
Other than to say I'm sorry,
But I know its not enough,
You deserve more.

I wish I could give you more.

The army of time marches ahead
while the nervous cling to the edges of hope;
wishing to be loved and cared for
in a future of worry;

Hands dance from number to number
while the pretentious feign having hope;
wishing to be loved and cared for
in a future of worry;

A billion clocks update with ease
while the tired let go of hope;
wishing to suffer no more for no longer
within the chasms of darkness;

The winds of change blow forever
while the dispirited admit to losing hope;
wishing to suffer no more for no longer
within the chasms of darkness.

succession in the act
one cannot be afraid
of making theirself a fool
cannot remain of ownself
strip and despoil of worry
my strongest desire to be a fool
shameless in integrity and condemnation
grasp the pure abyss
and be everything other

I took the girl with me to Lexington
At the bus station we ate peacefully
a snack from the vending machine

and I bought her a ticket
for the 11-hour ride to Chicago
Maybe I saved her
sixteen years old, hitchhiking

on a dark Kentucky road
going to say hello to her grandma
she said, and I still worry about her
she said, and I
still worry about her

there’s a strange haze that settles in my chest
between my ribs and deep in my heart
lies an enigmatic pile of debris
my finger can not pinpoint the culprit
I debate whether it’s shame shoved in a body
or a tainted memory from years past
all I know is it troubles me
leaves me suspecting the state of my confidence
from where does my dilemma stem?
maybe an action from the ***** of uncertainty
a cocktail of apprehension and regret
bottled up and serving two
no sense is made of the mixture
it leaves a bitter and sour taste on my tongue
and an aftertaste of humiliation

Don't worry if things don't work out, you just gotta have a plan B.

my greatest fear is your own mortality
the mere thought of your breath leaving this world
frightens me too much to fathom
I pace and yearn to know you’re safe and sound
abhorring the ease in which these burdens fill my space
an overwhelming longing for clarity occupies me
an my chest tightens with horror every passing second
an unexplainable terror making home in a bed of lies
it knows that I need you to sleep
I toss and turn, unable to stay still
until I know that you have your breath
the light fades to a dark distress, deep anxiety flooding me
anguish cradles me with lullabies of deceit
and all I can do is lay as my hands cover my ears
but external sounds blocked do not block whispers inside my mind
all I see is a collection of neurosis
my own inquietude steals my breath like a thief
I lie awake and shake with dread and trepidation
until finally I’m on my knees looking above me
“please, let him have his breath” I cry vanquished
“all I ask is you keep him shielded from all harm”
I hope that you still have breath
that you inhale, exhale a breathe of peace