Worry is the constant of my life, it has accompanied me in big and small moments - forever familiar to my body. It has feasted on my self-doubt, my fearfulness and my uncertainty. It has ruined my self-confidence - ****** the life out of me in the same breath.

No amount of self-help books or breathing techniques can cut Worry from my limbs. It has grown roots in my heart, my lungs and my brain. It has become a part of me, and I am otherwise incomplete.

I feel it all of the time - judging me, manipulating me, stealing my joy in moments meant to be my happiest.

Oh, how I wish to put it down, like a glass of water. Chug it. Swallow it. Forget all about it.

I used to think age was a state of mind
Working my whole life nose to the grind
Turbulent years have not been kind

Was there a specific moment life rearranged
When I began to notice change
Overtime life dreams became estranged

Began to move a little slower love not as bright
Cancer demands choices joy is out of sight

Illness take its toll
Pain can change the soul
Bulging disc back spasms knees give out
Numb feet neuropathy pain throughout

Forgetful, lost thoughts
The haves, and the have Nots
Memory once Sharp as a tack
Scatterbrain recollection now I lack

I understand why they call
Alzheimer
The long goodbye
Why, did I come into this room?
Frustrated can’t remember gloom looms

  Legs give out falter unexpected falls
Yelling, screaming, crying, deaf ear calls.
On the floor flat on my back
processing where I am at

Not completely aware
How I came to be there
Mental assessment first things first
Instant flood of pain burst

Anything broken bleeding bruised
Knot on the head, lose tooth, blood oozed
I rub emollients to soften and sooth
Aspercreme BenGay, which one to choose

Triage situation urgent versus emergency
Elderly fall risk develop a contingency
Scrapes cuts occasionally a broken wrist
Off kilter slipped twist landed on the fist
Unable to get up nobody around
Floundering helplessly on the ground,

Surgeries total replacement both knees
Unable to put pressure on both of these
Not as simple as it sounds,
To pick yourself up off the ground
I can roll over
Than what?

Scoot crawl wiggle on my backside
Down the hall iPhone the goal my guide
Traverse down a few stairs a slide cried
Instant pain runs down the spine
Pray every moment for strength I’ll be fine

Solution: need a chair to pull up on
Everybody gone for how long?
Quickly learn to fend for myself
Shoot, the iPhone up high on the 3rd shelf

A horrific thought resides
Creeping seeping an emotional tide
After a fall my friend died  
He hit his head on the kitchen granite table
Wounded bleeding Unconscious unstable

He could have lived the police surmise
Elderly incapacitated facts surprise
Investigation what happened evidence resides
Estimated  time on kitchen floor for three days
In and out of consciousness, craze haze

He bleed to death.
On the kitchen floor
His daughters will confess
Never able to talk to him ever more

Nobody came to visit. Not a single call
Loved ones should not die from a fall


A prominent man of well to do means
Living situation wasn’t what it seems
A celebrated man of stature
Tasked in war enemy capture
A battleship under his command
Near his end, he can hardly stand

father of two his children the man they never knew his adoptive family battleship cast and crew
Perhaps each were too busy with their own  
His death they will atone
So many elderly alone

All the lonely people were do they all belong

Inspired song

Eleanor Rigby
(All the lonely people) 1966
By the Beatles bulging disc

BLT Webster’s word of the day challenge
3-7-25 EMOLLIENT
AN EMOLLIENT IS SOMETHING SUCH AS A LOTION THAT SOFTENS AND SOOTHES