Why do I constantly wonder,
If I'm truly to her, what she says I am?
Why am I so concered with that..
That feeling inside of my gut?
What is it anyway?
That disturbing clench.
It causes me to worry.
You've made my vision blurry.
Please stay by my side..

My heart starts to race faster,
my hands shaking,
tears running down my face.

I'm scared, and worried,
"why is this happening to me?" ,
I wonder to myself.

"I don't know why this is happening!!"
How do you stop this feeling?
This feeling not being in control.

This thing that is happening to me,
I'm having a Panic Attack.

My anxiety is out of control,
I can't control it,
will you help me?

I think I have finally come to accept that my home is
on the fence.
I am constantly fighting with myself of my worth and intentions.
A forever debate if I am worthy of the good or deserve all the bad.
I want so deeply to love someone,
and their love to be pure in return.
Yet do I deserve to accept their love?

I want so badly
to be a kind, genuine and patient person,
yet when I am,
I get used.
Then when I voice my thoughts,
I get abused.

I am nervous for the day
that a big gust of wind comes along and blows me and my home
off the fence.
But which side will I fall?

I'm scared.