The ocean is a beautiful blue during the day. Warm water covering my existence with every step.
Everyone admires the ocean and what it can provide but what happens when it turns cold, black and lifeless at night.
People will turn away, no longer take pictures and leave it to be alone. Anyone who try's to become close with the ocean will be struck with the catastrophic waves, turned cold, soon to be lifeless.
The lucky ones will turn away before even taking the chance to be eroded by the waves.
When the day returns the ocean is once again a beautiful blue. Don't they realize the cycle will always continue...until what once was forgotten is remembered.
To bad water evaporates.
Once it's gone there is no bringing it back.

.....(that I only just look tired to you.)

I'm glad
     (that my sullen, shadowed eyes
     only look deprived of sleep)
              ((and that my quiet and trembling
              mouth only whispers thoughts
              of fatigue.))

(It's a comfort to know
that I have enough control
Over My emotions
To make you think something
Entirely far from the truth....)

I'm glad....
      (That my sadness just looks
       Worn out to you.)

I liked it when he pulled my hair
When he growled and sunk his teeth into my neck
An emotionless grudge ****
Without any love or bare skin

I liked it when he told me I was *****
When he laughed in my tired face
And pushed me to the couch
Smothered me with a pillow

I liked it when he owned me
When he turned me black and blue
In the heat of all his passion
And with his bare hands

I liked it when it hurt
When he smiled before he left for the night
Every moment that I loved him
The best moments of my worn out numb life

My nail polish
peels
like wallpaper
on a dead house

and i suppose
thats
what i am
a dead house

decrepit and torn
broken
down and old
from 16 years

of broken mentality
***
******-manically wanted
Lips, Hips, thighs.

But what if thats
gone
and my wallpaper is
peeling like ripe fruit

I'm so tired of pretending like I feel nothing for you;
acting like we can be just friends now,
no longer sharing secrets and 1am laughs,
and missing those kisses like no one is watching.

My mind is weary from holding back the memories of "us",
the sly ones that creep up every once in a while.
But now "we"
are
you
and
me.

How are you not exhausted?
Are you forcing that smile when you see me with him,
like I do when I see you with her?

Doesn't it sting a little
for you to think of me baring my naked soul to someone else?
Because it's killing me everyday
to imagine you holding and touching another girl,
the same way you did to me

Sometimes I think I see it in your eyes,
or maybe it's just wishful thinking,
that you might miss me as much as I miss you,
or maybe it's just my weakness coming through.