If tomorrow comes
   And I leave
         Without a trace
Not a goodbye
     Or an I love you more
Have a life of which you can say
"I made it."
  Although I'm not by your side
I'll smile down
   from above, and I'll make
It rains,  
   And with it, my tears fall
It'll be your birthday
  Smile, knowing I'm watching

Getting old: I look

carefully at the flower --


Today I still can.

Do you ever stop…
and really look?
Feel the breeze through your fingers,
hear little kids laughing as they run,
watch an old couple window shopping?
A pregnant mother,
a girl and her dog on a bench,
sneaking him her ice cream—
Do you feel the flowers bloom?
Do you let the rain kiss your face?
Do you hear the waves crash?
Do you notice old friends catching up,
girls in their twenties joined by the hip,
an old man enjoying the sun?
I see it all.
And I’m asking you—
look with me,
feel it with me,
let yourself notice
how alive love and life can be.

I wonder why people cannot forgive, for even the things I try to hold slip away
I wonder why people cannot forget, for it seems far too easy for me
the things I try to do just fall apart and what I've built
is far too weak
I wonder why people can't cry, for my tears become a river
then it becomes a raging drought that I cannot help become alive
I wonder why people get angry, for my heart it cannot hold
when I come up in defense, I promise anger is not my sword
though sometimes I carry pointy daggers and pointy arrows
I promise that they're made of foam and of my own sorrows
what's outside is not in, and what I hold is not a sin
is it? is what I will question, but I cannot make it so
I wonder why people cannot see the world as it is
a snake in a garden, like the garden of Eden
We have become a parasite, one seeking to destroy
to live and protect a world we say is ours
I wonder why we cannot heal, and how we shy away from the sun
why I love the rain when they love the snow
and I the thunder and them flowers, they'd only know
I wonder a lot of things, and for those it'll never be
answered because this world is a strange place
that will not be here much longer
I hope that they'll know the destruction and the pain
while I search for something
to make this world even a little worth it

I watch him leave, yelling his fathers name
Rushed steps that only mean another day gone
I wanted this… I must know that it is true—
But each day that he’s here I wonder what went wrong
I wanted a better place but perhaps it’s too soon
But her voice, I’ve seen, has become soft
The faint whispers of loud screams became something I forgot
Perhaps I am too naive- too gullible
Perhaps I have fallen into the trap of words
Perhaps it’s getting better, but I remember the ghost of what was
And what is to be
Is this a right thing to believe? To dream?
Perhaps I imagined it all

I see blue from a rooftop,  
blinded by light and laughter.  
an embrace of the sun —  
my skin, melting butter.  

through the attic window,  
weightless curtains flutter…  
and I suddenly wonder:  
what it feels like to be a bird?  

smelling air,  
its scent of lavender,  
singing the wind's song,  
unbottling memories of last summer.  

enjoying a rainbow after the thunder,  
oh, how I wonder  
what it feels like to have wings?  

and I fall asleep, lullabied into dreams  
by a gentle wind with its tune of a summer breeze.