I would put my hand into your chest
And rip your heart out, watch it beat
Because there must be something about it
That makes you so impossibly unique.
I wish I could keep you up until early morning
I wish I could talk until you forgot about sleep
Because that's when the deepest, darkest conversation
Is finally, finally let free.
I want to amaze you until you can't think
Of a single snarky phrase
And keep on amazing you
For years, and centuries, and days.
I want to let you break me
In all the ways I want to shatter you
And when we're both blood and dust
We'll grab the duct tape and glue.
I want to know you like no one has
Until I know every word you'll ever say
Until your mind and my mind
Become our mind in the best of ways.
I want to spend years memorizing
The way you say my name
Because, as much as I hate it,
The way you say it isn't the same.
I want to memorize your genome
I want to know all of what made you exist
Because when I can't sleep
I'll recite the entire list.
I want to sit with you in silence
Without a hint of uncomfortableness
Because there are words in every breath
That passes through your nose or lips.
I want to describe you in detail
Until a stranger could find you in a crowd
Because I'll never experience a pride
Quite like knowing you brings about.
I want to see your smile
And hear your laughter until I die
Because, come good or bad with us,
You'll still be what gets me by.
I want to frown at you
And cry and scream and shout
Because I'll never quit this fake smile
Until you shut it down.
I want to argue with you
Over the opinions you don't accept
Because I didn't know all your thoughts before
And I don't know them all yet.
I want to show someone
That this is what I feel
Because, when it's too dark to see outside,
I can't help but believe it isn't real.
At this point, I should probably just make a collection of the poems I've written about him, because this couldn't possibly get more pathetic.
