I see the endings in their birth,
The wilt curled in the bloom,
The echo in the first soft word
That hums of pending gloom.

Yet on I go, with knowing steps,
Down paths that twist and burn
Not for hope, nor fate, nor faith,
But just to feel the turn.

It’s not some tragic grandeur,
No noble, aching art
Just a quiet urge to prove myself
The fool I knew at start.

You've got a warm heart, a beautiful brain, but it's disintegrating.

You start in this world as a naive person, as you get older, you get wiser, some more than others, people had to grow too fast, people didn't have to grow at all, some grew just right.

I unfortunately am the more wise, which is a blessing and hurtful curse, I can't read people's minds, but I can see why they did what they did, I've always been able to.

I do envy the others who didn't have to grow up like me, with their picture-perfect families, high awards for just existing, it all seems cruel for a 15-year-old to go through so much.

But it's a gift more than a curse since now I am vigilant, I've missed pellets of bullets coming for my armour, you learn after the first gunshot, but learn more when they come, you update your walls and go back to normal, or collapse altogether.

I'm strong but I'm also weak, I'm kind but also rude, you have to do that in this world, nobody is that strong, not even me, and I cant tell if that's a gift or sacrilege, but since my present is in my brain, I cant wrap it back up and pretend it never happened.

Once you learn something like wisdom, there is never going back, your heart cools down a little, and your brain starts to grow dandelions, charming, but just weeds in the end, weeds of regret for how I've acted so far.

Wisdom is a beauty and a curse; use it wisely.

Odin & Mímir;
A one-eyed leader,
A paralyzed ascetic.
One traded vison for vison,
One traded appendage for appendage.
From two stylite existences,
Compassion for compassion.
Perspective for perspective,
From working together.

But is it all meant to be taken as mental?
But is it all meant to be taken literal?

When do you know
you're growing wise?
When you feel
you know far less.

I saw an owl holding a cigarette
any wise words I asked him
he blew smoke into the air
why would I have any wisdom for you
he inquired
owls are considered wise creatures I tell him
well if that's the case, then let me tell you a few things
he took a drag from his cigarette

wisdom does not come from age
it comes from experiences

you could be 100 years old and live a sheltered life
you wouldn't have experienced any hardships to give any insight

on the other hand
you could be 20 years old and live a traumatic life
you would have experienced so much that insight comes easily

he took another drag of his cigarette
age is not an excuse for disrespect

just because you lived in a time where homophobia was okay
doesn't mean that you can continue to hate them now

aging is a time for growing
the times have changed and so should you

the wisdom of speed
mind is underdown and deep
it tells you listen