The wine is deep red
Sensual, smooth, semi dry
We revel in it

Collapsing emotions
            corrode on my
          ****** perfection.

What was diminishing,
   now collecting in a cup
            of palmed hands collected.


I wanted to no that of your
               miracles,
                            that even
though tears fell,
you never turned

            those now memory to a wine
                         of hope...

Auschwitz was a million
                  tears choked,
but you never turned
a single tear
               to a vintage of peace.


We just choked on the tears,
     and we were a vineyard
                         of silence.


Each a grape that never reached
               maturity.

Instead we fell before we could become
              more that we were.
These tears are sour,
and the taste
                erodes every fallen tears morality.

i have a soft spot for
tough times, i said from my stomach,
pouring out thick-red wine,
dusty lights and heavy air, breathless voices
and silverware clattered --
i can't be
your rock and
your punching bag, she said with one
corner of her lips curled,
reaching for her glass, a dry wooden door
shut, and the whined shriek of wind
stopped.

A sip,
I feel it go down my throat smoothly
And as it reaches my tummy
I feel warmth
A feeling I had forgotten
After taste on my tongue
Bittersweet like my life
And a sip turns into a gulp
Because why not?
I love how it makes me feel
Giddy, happy, joyful
And so I stand up glass in hand
In my granny underwear and my favorite sweater
And I sway my hips to the music in my head
I grind my *** on the crotch of my imaginary guy
The perfection he is, I like who I am when he’s near
Pure bliss I love what’s in my glass
And so I throw the glass away
Drink straight up from the bottle
I feel like a bad girl
Because mama said glasses were for ladies
And bottles for crazies
And I smile because it feels so **** good
And because I don’t know who I am
I keep drinking hoping to find my answers
At the bottom of my bottle
And when I find none,
I’ll open another one
Mama said never give up
And my mission is to find answers by the end of the night
Oh dear Wine I wish everyone was like you
Tonight you have heard me tell you how lost I am
Tonight you have let me dance with you in my arms
Tonight you have listened and not judged
Tonight I have taken and felt bliss as a reward
Is this how people feel when they take from me
Pure bliss and joy because I never ask back
And for a moment I sobered up
And I looked at your bottle in my arms
Poor wine! She has given away the good stuff
And now she’s empty inside
Left nothing for herself now she’s useless and not needed
And before I opened your sister sweet white
I realized in a sober world you and I are the same
Always giving until we were empty
But tonight I drink so for once I’ll take
Even if it's just from a bottle of sweet sweet wine.
Jojo.poetry

I haven't been eating much.
My shaking hands beg for nourishment,
And only then I feed it.

I've been sleeping a lot,
but it's disturbed, restless.

I've been drinking more and more.
The red wine at night soothes my sadness.
It even makes Him feel farther away.
Just to wake up groggy, unclear, sad.
Alone.

Here I am, punishing myself.
Unable to wrestle out of this cycle.
The wicked voice inside my head is back,
and She's louder than ever.
She likes it when I'm catatonic and vulnerable.

Marigold, southern roses
in my backyard
there she poses
Camellia, there we dine
red lights, red wine
red tequila
Marigold, flat-pressed roses,
that memory, it’s the tenet
of my broken-ness.

Sipping gently on the decline,
Watching the story leave my mind,
Dancing gently to the whispers haunting
A gamble, a game, a lullaby.
Washing my words out till they clean up nicely,
My condolences to the muted inside,
A rose, corrupted, I gift to the departed,
A world that cheers on at life's demise.
They sob till they're alone, humans, one-of-a-kind.
A show we put on, till it all blows over,
The nightmares play games with reality,
My fortune has lost, time plucked my clover,
Even games with the Devil can cost a fee.