i want a spring bonsai tree
possess it as own
shape it to controlling will

The fence isn’t intended for sitting.
Why hesitate to choose a side?
It’s only just a hop this way or the other.
The fence – claiming a no-man’s wasteland.
Still, you can’t stay for so long
or you end up perched right there
again, and again. The foliage appears
so green and vibrant on that side.
And yet, on this side, it feels altogether more real.
If you hop down here or there,
still, you’re in the yard; still,
you’re playing and making a choice to live.
But the fence? I see
there's a watching, but where is the living?
Where is your truth?
Fences only define edges,
they can’t create truth.

the grass on the hill
speaks nothing until
our ears open with age
and the demons dark will
loses meaning

the soft melody
of piece sends a thrill
to the harbory of will
and causes a self
into being

action a skill learned
from birth to the grave
we pay not attention
to continous pain
and we travel

The hadron collider showed an unknown influence affecting subatomic particles.

“Is this proof of a higher power in the universe?” asked Marianne Williamson.

“Is this Will, is this magick?”

Yes Herr Nietzche, there will always be unknowns in human science as the scientists should have known all along, instead of substituting the most recent names of observations as the replacement of God.

No, there probably isn’t free will but we seem to be life in the unknown with more power than any other around.

This universe may just repeat on and on but what do you do with that knowledge? Can you even help to choose what you choose?

All these past influences and instinctual impulses lead the charge. But there's that spark. That mystery if we can ever really know and comprehend it all with limited senses, time, and minds.

Maybe you don’t have a choice in your life, but you can have the feeling you do. The feeling you can shape your world amid the destiny you feel in your heart.

Practice being a yeasayer to life because that just might be your fate.
Amor fati each time around.

I cry with misery, inside
I collapse, again, again
I have to fire myself
to hold on

Time is short and goes so fast
but I have to go to bed
to lie down with my tiger
and get up with it

Homely chatter in the kitchen
the soup is already smelling and
I know there are candles burning
If only I could sleep

I shiver when I put back the blanket
I'll move the bed to the winter side
My tiger stays in bed
and rolls over again

The dry tears contract
my skin, come on, out
there are blackberries and
smell, smell the fresh bread

I pull myself together
caress the stiff parts
and wrap up myself nicely
as the tiger I've been

An intrinsic insistence of negative choice
A high-jacker of will
An undeniable voice
A captivating spirit that justifies oneself
A sideline observation
Our resistance on the shelf
A resurgence of trauma
A manifestation of pain
An implicit reminder from within
A validation of weakness
An inference of youth
Our self inflicted sin

The wind in my sails,
carries me towards my goals.
The wind is my will.

Pleasure,
Is it a god?
Pain,
Is it the devil?

Given the wrong circumstances,
They can both be evil.
Then what is it I rely on
To help me differentiate between right and wrong?

Time,
Is it eternal?
Health,
Is it reliable?
And when things don't go to plan,
Are my consequences inevitable?
Then what is it I can count on
That's been unchangeable all along?

Will,
Is it sturdy?
Relationships,
Will they keep swaying me?

And when pain,
Pleasure, time and health test me,
What is it I can rely on to keep me steady?

Why,
I feel like a kite on a single string,
The string is a hand stretching out from a deep sea,
The hand is a lever with the note:
"Pull me!"
And I hold on and it may be fine,
But relationships,
Will, health, time, pain and pleasure
Eventually rot and turn bitter
And they let me go
And I am reminded of how
Lost I truly am...
In this vast ocean...
In this wide space...
I am reminded that in this world,
Nowhere in my mind is safe;
I used to ridicule that which I cannot see or feel,
But there was nothing of this world that was real.
All of my idols
Left me,
Scathed.
And all that’s left to
Hold on to
Are the ideals of hope
And faith.

summer rain comes again
with the pained cry of someone
who isn't quite me.
summer rain comes again
where white meets gray
and lies are true.

static love
isn't love at all.
and i'm not sure
if i could trust you
if i were to fall.

with a single touch
the flowers beneath my skin
unearth and uproot.
with a single cut
i can easily erase
each and every mistake
that i've ever made.

Master the moment
Give all to the now
Live with awareness
Let go and allow

Each moment contains
All “time” wrapped in one
So master the moment
In beauty and fun

Your moments are here
So live each one best
When one moment passes
With more you’ll be blessed

Master each moment
With practice comes skill
So thrive in each moment
With focus and will