I've kissed this whiskey bottle too many times reminsicing about your lips. A heartbreak and a hangover.

I woke up in the afternoon
Missed myself the morning train
It's the second one that I've missed
Since I tried to get going around 6am

I can't keep my eyes from tearing
My hands from doing their not-so-cool shakes
I reach into my pockets for something
That just feels a little bit like yesterday

I can hear the whistle blowing
From outside my apartment door
I believe for the first time
Maybe I should drive to work

We missed each other's calls from last night
I counted the minutes that passed,
I drank myself a thirty-three year old brandy
I stole from my parent's liquor cabinet.

The 10:00am buzz to get me right
Started for, is it Saturday?
I don't drink but to remember
I drink to remember the pain.

A .44 at close range
My heart skips with great excite,
The bullet-proof vest I wear when I'm shot
May barely not save my life.

I've grown tired off waiting for the beach
I swim with sharks blacked out in the dark
Playing dares with Sarah Marie.
Until the wild Pacific digs its first row of teeth into me.

All these books to read

and all these songs to sing

but all I can think about

are these empty pages

and how my hand would look better

with a glass of whiskey.

Sometimes I meet,
With art so sweet,
It almost turns me vegan,
A piece of meat,
Could not compete,
With a painting done by Tegan.

Sometimes it seems,
She paints my dreams,
Or as close as anyone can,
If I had to choose,
Between this or *****,
I'd be a sober man.

I'd feel such grief,
With no relief,
If she chose to give up paintin'
And I'd fill the hole,
Inside my soul,
With whiskey and with bacon.

Everyone started hating her.
They started hating her for her loud laugh.
They started hating her for her intentions to crave love.
They started hating her for being so rude!
They started hating her for her irritating moods.
They started hating her for her wrong decisions.
They started hating her for her carelessness.
And They started ignoring her for her weird stories. They started ignoring her for who she was.
And She became queit.
Queit,as she was judged from the outside.
All she could do that time was to wonder, why?
Why they judged her for something she did and not for something that made her do that!
It was her turn to hate then!
So she started hating herself.
So she Hated  her being.
Hated herself for every breath she took.
Hated herself for every wrong decision she took and for every wrong person she chose.
She hated herself for lying on the floor and crying day and night.
And then,after days,she decided to stop hating herself.
And so she left!
"Not every ending is a happy ending".

Do you know?
Do you?
Nothing in this world would ever fascinate me,
more than that, relieving smile!
No cigarette, no whiskey can give me that hangover, that your smell gives to me!
You have no ******* idea,
how much that small hugs heals me to the core!
Do you even know, I am addicted to your kind words!
I am addicted to you!
Do you know?
Your eyes are that beautiful ocean,
I would love to drown into!
Your hands have always took me to that wonderland.
You are heaven to my soul.
You are all it asks for, day and night!
Do you have any idea?
How wildly it craves you?
How badly it wants you!
Every minute, every second!
Every time I look at you, I realize,
I can always cherish this face.
As it fills me with a power!
The power of self destruction!
Whenever I think of you, it amazes me,to my last bit!
What in this world would I not do for you my world?
What not?
A single thought of you tears me apart and somehow fixes me back!
As I know, this energy in you is something I always crave!
Even in my dreams!
Have you ever realized?
Have you?
I always feel safe and good when you are around!
I love teasing you.
I love doing it and I would love to continue it for the rest of my life!
You get it?
Do you?
Do you get it,when I tell you I am always there at your side.
Do you know, I am always there for you?
For my thoughts are limited to you!
They do not allow me to go beyond this!
Do you even realize?
Do you?
What it takes off me, when I tell them that you my boy!
You!
You are my ten on ten.
You are my ten on ten!

It's done, it's over.

I put a lot of energy into you, but now it means nothing.
I stay up late at night fighting demons in my head trying to blame me for what you did.
Is it day or is it night? I keep losing track of time since I lost it all.
All I have left to chase is money, girls, cars, finer things in life that mean nothing without the right one by your side.
Materialistic emotions.
Meaningless things to temporarily fill this emptiness.

Pour me more whiskey

I walk around with my head held high, but feeling pride-less because of your careless act.
They say time heals everything, but whiskey gets in the way of my sobriety.
I want to let go, but I can't.
Wake up, drink, shower, sleep, eat a little, drink.
Seems like a crazy dream
Here's the truth, you didn't marry the person you love.
No one knows except for us, what you and I have will never be broken.

**** it- I gotta get off my knees
Now is the time I walk the talk and make you wish I was the one.

Whiskey swam in my stomach and cigarette smoke filled my wretched lungs. But, oh, I wanted to just breathe the scent of your skin and feel you break your way into my soul so their was no longer just me and no longer just you. So when you claimed my veins as your swimming pool and declared my beating heart as your bed, I knew you had found home in me. And I don't deserve to be called your home, but I let you in effortlessly.

                                          {Cheya Wolfe}

the wind resided temporarily
damp clothes held to our skin
the jack daniels bottle
orbiting our group
speaking mildly
half dizzy
we said why we loved
one another

like whiskey burning your throat on a cold day
******* in the frigid air for a breath
just making an attempt to breath normal
feel normal
realizing that their words were the only thing that could sting
as harsh as this
maybe even more