You told me to trust myself
But what if I hurt myself?

You told me to have faith,
But what if it's all a game?

You told me it's wrong or right,
But what if that's a lie?

You told me it's one or the other,
But what if it turns out to be neither?

You told me it wouldn't be so hard,
But what if I fall apart?

You told me life was a riddle,
But what if I can't meet you in the middle?

You told me,
But what if
What you told me,
Was just a what if?

red, pink, and white
cheap or expensive gifts
from friends, family, or loved ones.
some people are sad if they don’t
receive one from anyone they know.
a holiday celebrating couples,
what about the single people?
what would happen if
you weren’t loved?
what would happen?
valentine’s day originated
from women getting sold
in a town square
and hit and whipped
after being bought.

What if I'd taken the other path?
Had chosen X instead of Y?
What if I'd turned left instead of right?
What if I'd been a girl instead of a guy?

What if I'd studied this or that?
Been born a king instead of a pawn?
What if I'd taken the other job?
What if I'd stayed instead of gone?

What if I hadn't lived this same life
Leading to here, now, this?
What if I'd never even thought
To ask all these what ifs?

Time spent in obsessive contemplation
Of infinite paths of infinite ifs.
How many if only buts today alone?
I could be infinitely different.

My head hurts, my soul is so uncertain.
I’m this, and not infinite other ifs.
I am from mistakes of pure carelessness,
I am random intentional choices.

My world is what it is, but is that all?
What remains of other infinite ifs?
I have memories of worlds that weren’t,
Of worlds that might be infinitely worse.

There is an unknown me inside of me,
Who pursued some other infinite ifs.
And yet, what if I chose right every time?
What if that unknown me is also me?

A world without you...
Is something destructive and ignorant.

A world without you...
Is monotonous and bleak.

A world without you...
Is hell and confined.

A world without me...
Is something tranquil and unbound.  

A world without us...
Is a non existing scene.

What would things look like
if I could press
rewind?
Take myself back to that moment
and make sure it never
happened?
What would it be like,
to not be
naive?
To know then,
that you had nothing to do
with me;
Were just drunk on
yourself?
To push you away
and be
certain?
Before feelings complicated the mix?
What would it be like
to have never
loved you?
To like myself
better again,
To be sure
—once more—
that I would never be so
stupid,
What would it be like if I’d never met you?

One day she came towards me
breeze in her hair and lips color peach
beautiful as a dream but too far to reach

One day she walked away from me
heading to the sea she left in my heart a breach
and now my soul is trapped here on this beach