day passed
I walked this day
slightly like a shadow
slightly like snow
walked by day i
I went through it

and it was raining today
small not big
but the wind was very blowing
very very large
and everything was spinning around
foliage in the trees
and everything around is somewhere
it raced like I did

early in the morning I got up
and looked out the window
and there september
september is burning
in the window
here are the new expensive
here are the new ways
after a strong strong
storm of black

08.09.18

The more I ponder my death,
The more attractive it seems.
Trading my last breath,
To enter the world of my dreams.
Waving goodbye to my burdens,
Blowing a kiss to my pains.
Closing shut life's curtains,
To be with my God who reigns.
But looking around, I think
This planet will do me just fine.
There are plenty of things I'd love to do
Before I grow old and resign.
With people and places to explore and know,
So much of me is happy to stay.
But just as much of me is happy to go,
That I know I'll be good either way.

grasping at things
not meant for me.
they slip from
my hands so
easily.

feeling
    hopeless
          helpless
full of fear.

what does the future hold?
they say it gets better
and i'm screaming

WHEN?

Nature is feminine by nature
off the man keeps a step away.
Touch it not but do not sway
eye on to this butterfly
que sera, sera on the way!

the moon burned with blue fire
there were houses and lanterns around
there were also darknesses and flies
and we walked with a friend straight
went straight to the celebration and home

we left the embankments
and we left the vineyards
and we left the streets by the airplane
and we left the shops
and everyone moved on their way

22.08.18

Even if your way
Is full of sharp shards
I'll pick you up
And walk through the shards
Because I'm ready
To take your pain.

I'm leaving / my home
Without a word of goodbye
I'm sorry / if I hurt you
I've gotta find a new way of life

I'm sorry / if I'm dumber
Than my age says I should be
But I'm tired / of losing
To the way things should be

I promise / to remember
All you've given me
If you promise / to surrender
To the fact that I had to leave

Wherever I go, I'll keep you in my heart
If I'm a thousand miles away or down the road
Everyone needs a few brand new starts
Everyone needs some time alone

I'm riding / through the heartland
Waiting for peace to come
I'm hiding / in the mountains
Singing to the morning sun

I'm riding / through the valley
Breathing in mountain air
I'm smiling / I am happy
I feel like I belong somewhere

Perception is a strange phenomena.
Our thoughts.
Feelings.
Ideas.
Interpretations.
They are all determined by us.
I'm not sure exactly what causes someone's sense of perception to be warped.
All I know is mine seems to be so.
Some have stated they believe me to be an intelligent articulate individual.
However when it comes to common perceptual sense, I have none.

How does one train their perception?
Is anyone really in control of the way they interpret?
Lost.
Continually lost.
Taken the wrong way.
Offending those without realising.
Socially inept.
Yet still possessing the empathy and ability to connect with all kinds of people.
Is there a simple solution to figuring myself out?
Or am I simply on a wild monkey hunt with no end in sight?

Rain on me,
I have been longing to be free.
Lost in my world, needlessly.

Rain on me,
I am tired of fighting but I will not sleep.
I refuse to be reigned and I refuse to be a sheep.

Rain on me
and show me the way.
This place is empty and I cannot stay.

Rain on me
because it has been too long.
I am sick and tired of pretending to be strong.

Rain on me,
I want to see the lightning pierce the sky.
As the thunder roars and the clouds fly.

Rain on me.
Let the winds take my mind to another land.
No one needs to know and no one needs to understand.