I chewed the brownie slowly,
delicately
scraping every crumb stuck in
sticky-ifity on Carmelly crudesunshine

flowing from the wound in my gut

what
hapt,

in the middle of a how,
so this is now
okeh
this is what remains
after ever starts
every time,

goofiest kind of time you can imagine

and we are here,
today, as long as it is called today;

perfectly empowered once patience has done
her perfect werx, ah, the things concerning you,

as it were, had I ever been you, in a sense,
those were promised perfection,

so, once more, wait and see. Look around
find idle verbs and spark them to life

with your tongue. Sing. Taste the song.

Brownie crumbs. All this is is brownie crumbs
come to mind to make a case

for sugars and spices and other niceties we
may recall at will,

with a wink.

sometimes letting go
is the most courageous act

tell me how you want me to love you
in the ways you cannot love yourself enough
pressing my ear closer to your mattress
restless under your pillowcase
my teeth become something disposable by morning
your mouth begs to be fed before sunrise
lips parting for stale air between lulls in our interactions
as if saying something could make me breathe easier
knowing i will respond before i simply can't
i am expectant in the ways you clear my lungs
before lying in the bed you've made for us
tell me again how you want me to love you
in the ways i cannot love myself
to fill a void made for no one in particular
folding corners of my blanket back over each other
there is safekeeping in barricading thread count
fingers numb from pressing us together for too long
losing my grip on what reality i have succumbed myself to
tell me again how i have done this to myself
in the ways of tolerating your recklessness
pillows becoming somewhat of a buffer
for noise that concerns the neighbor at night
what good will yelling do if your body constantly screams
shouting for someone who left awhile ago
slipping out of your window at night
tell me how you want me to leave
in the ways you cannot tell me to
too afraid to make noise in a silent ballet
tiptoeing around uncomfortable conversations
dancing over select words in exchange
with the rhythm of my accelerated heartbeat
listening

There are so many choices that surround us each day.
Wisdom cleans out the crap and opens the way.

In an ideal
joy-and-happiness-society,
would every person
live for the purpose
of achieving joy and happiness
for themself
and others in society?
Would every person
deal with the challenges
Destiny brings
in a joy-and-happiness-way
which optimises joy and happiness
for themself
and for others in society?

the metaphor for the phenomenons of the world
who we come to for advice, guidance, wisdom
i can’t find my way
i have no faith
but i’m searching