i fruitlessly waste time searching for the time i lost.

My heart was always
in the wrong place.
The things that didn’t
matter at all,
I gave them my all.
I wasted so much energy on
useless pish.
Terminal friendships.
Unsalveagable projects.
Lost causes.

I used up so much of my time,
hoping that I could fix them,
like a lost child
trying to stop a burning house.
A stranger stuck outside in the rain
without an umbrella or a jacket.
But sometimes, you just have to
put the water bucket down,
stop looking for shelter,
and give up.

Time can be squandered, endured,
or enjoyed;
on your side, it is friend,
running out, a foe.

It's all we have to make life
worth living;
more can't be given,
but it's well spent in giving.

You are a star burning brightly in the sky. You are among millions, slowly burning until your end. But you are not wasting time. People will look up occasionally, pointing you out from the rest, and they will think, "wow, what a beautiful sight." But soon, you will be forgotten by them. And that's perfectly fine. Because soon, someone else will see you, and again begins the fascination of your beauty.
You'll always be someone's shing star.
Do not ever stop shining.

Start and stop
Up the street,
Turn 180,
Repeat the beat.
The gurus on
Confessional wheels,
Absolve our sins,
Emptying bins.
I swear
They swear
A solemn oath
Never to
Disclose the truth
Found in our garbage
By the brethern,
Garbage stinking
To high heaven.
Bottles, syringes,
Boxes, bones,
Peelings, plastics,
Old cell phones,
Discarded trash
From our homes.
Wrappings bleeding
Seeping ****:
*By our garbage
Ye shall know us.

Are we junk?  Waste,
Shard and smear,
Empty symbol made by
“Doled out Poet’s papers,
Hoarded like sweets?”

Our awkward secrets
stumble
cislunar.

"No matter how bad it gets, I'll always have you," I should never had tempted fate with such wasteful words. I should have spent all that time listening to the sound of your voice telling me about your childhood. Telling me about the stuffed animal you slept with until an embarrassingly old age. Telling me about needing to go clothes shopping because you saw someone wearing a button down shirt and you suddenly realized that button down shirts were a thing and you could wear them now because you're a grown up. Telling me to drink my tea and eat the sandwich you made. Telling me about your arguments with your roommate and conversations with your father. Telling me everything I needed to hear. Telling me everything was going to be alright.

I should have shut up and just listened to you then and every other night.  
You deserved more than my wasteful words and your wasted time.

-bcg (you deserved more than me, and what I gave you, but i still miss you, love, i still miss you)