I have a universe
in my pocket... and some
lint. The world
at my fingertips,
all knowledge awaits
and forty two cents
in change rattles next to it.
I have a universe
in my pocket and what...? I
use it to watch cat videos
and trade petty barbs
with fellow trolls under a bridge.

Get up
And **** me

Punishment for wasting

Punishment for dulness

Correction
Useless

I’m blinded by desire

Blinded by lust

Dopamine
Is my Dream

The only way I’ll take it

Is now and neat

Waiting
Is repulsive

It makes me shake and gag

Wasting time
Relieves me

Oh **** I got a head rush

Falling from the hit

I feel a sense of dread

Reward
Void of struggle

Leads to emptiness

And muddle

I fail to employ this knowledge

And smolder in video games

In YouTube

And *******

Do everyone a favor

I’m insipid and useless

Make it slow and forever

Painful and selfless

******* **** me

I’ve neglected the preciousness of time

I would like you to stay.
Stay where you've always been-
Where I once was. I would like you to stay
Here
With me. And I know that it is wrong and
Selfish
to even express
How still I long for you to stay- but I cannot bare the bruise
Of another milestone
Whipped at my head
though they're not even mine.

I never thought I would become all that I now am. I never thought I was this capable of hurting myself. I never thought I would be this alone surrounded by all the things I love and understand. I never thought this would happen so early on;
The great distance left bearing only heavier weights.

So I'll take whatever milestones I can
And abuse their theoretical beauty

The sleep

and breaking of my bones-

My last and final duty.

To the girl he is in love with,
Don't let your story be a myth.
He deserves a love beyond it,
for he is a man full of wit.

How many hours
spent scribbling these poems?
How many days wasted
rereading them,
nudging and prodding
each word into its proper place
until it all flowed and sounded...

still not quite right.

Gather my
     Wasted moments
And bleach them.

So I can rewrite
    Upon them.


As time is a valuable
            Peice of memory.

And I want every
    Thought to mean
               Something.