Floating down the street,
coddled by the roll of Spanish tongues,
I have never felt more alive than
feeling *** burn my stomach
Blood flowing, giddy
The mountains, my North Star,
peek over the crumbling buildings and
yearning to break through the clouds
Quiet noise rumbles
Even the air tastes different here
My Spanish is broken but my heart is whole
My mind has stopped wandering and my hands stopped searching
I am so alone in the most lovely way -
surrounded by millions of people and miles away from those who hold my heart
I am defined by who I am in this moment
No grades, or tears or memories have followed me here
Finally, my joy is independent
Exclusively made by my own beating heart
to be shared with the world

When you hit
A certain point of depression,
Your body starts to decieve you
Telling your mind
That you're already dead...

Your body stops aching
You mind slowly erasing
Of all the cares
And all the worries
That you and this life share

And you stop living
Because inside you are dead
And you don't even try to be
To beg for attention
You're just tired
of how no one will listen
So you shut down

There is no breaking point
No trigger for anger
No full-fledged smiles
Because you feel Neither
Pain, no regret
There isn't even a soul
Inside your chest

An empty vessel
Feels no pity
No happiness or agony
You go through life
As if you aren't there
Watching everyone else
Living the sort of life
You left behind
All while feeling
Nothing inside

A line is stretched across a chasm.
Beneath me is all black.
The line is bright and shining,
And there is no looking back.

One foot in front of the other
Is just the way to win.
Any variation,
And you might risk falling in.

"Set your eyes on the other side."
"We'll keep the door from locking."
Well, that's just fine and dandy,
If you want to keep on walking.

Heavy rain is falling down,
Making my foot slip.
I put extra care in every step,
But it makes for a longer trip.

Now the winds will start to blow.
The worst winds of its kind.
Threatening to push me off,
Forming doubts inside my mind.

Now the whispers, rising up
From the chasm, they crawl out.
Telling me terrible, saddening things
That reinforce my doubt.

The wind, the rain, and the whispers.
They chill me to the bone.
I take one last look at the dimming horizon,
And I leap into the darkness below.

One Sunday morning for a walk under the garden pass way through, when step by step I realized that I was in love with you.

What thoughts have you tonight Allen Ginsberg? For I walk down the main street
Under the streetlights with a sinking self-consciousness, looking at the blank building site.
In my quest for new experience, and shopping for clarity,
I went into the neon night dreaming of your visions!
What soul and what joy! Lovers at night! Circles sweeping the floor!
Girls shimmering and boys shaking down! Shadows shine lunar reflections!
And us- my Peter Orlovsky- What were we doing down in the corridor?

Give me your thoughts, Allen Ginsberg, dancing, new dreamlike words,
Sprawling among the leaves of my mind and speaking to the night.
I was asking questions: Can we go to the bar? What can I do? Are you my Angel?
I wandered in and out of bright lights and vibrations, followed by you and following
Brilliant waves of imagination.
We were down in the open corridor together, in our solitary harmony, tasting your lips,
Which possessed ecstasy, and watching passersby. They all say we’ve got it.

Where am I going, Allen Ginsberg? The doors closed at daybreak. Would your writer’s
Hand have pointed us towards the black taxi tonight?  
(I think of my dreams and jumpy visions of you at the Moor and feel foolish.)
But held in your arms, asleep, a lighter direction. The trees are coloured
In green, the pale blue sky heavy, streets solitary.
I wake with you, dreaming of this love, whispers under the covers, forgotten whimsies.
Ah, poor Beat poet, bearded, lonely now forever, scattered in my brain like stars.
What poetry is this? Smoke curling upwards towards the construction site staring back.

She gazed up into the indigo night sky
Saw the twilight moon eclipsed
Like an unknown planet dark but visible
Had smothered the light
Apart from one sliver cresented
On the edge where black became blue

I followed
Through the piercing breeze
Needing to get out
I stayed inside, I couldn't breath

We sneaked through the underbrush
Feeling improbable and alive
The stars made us feel at home
With you I felt less alone
Creeping along some old man's back yard
Lying on the grass, your hand in mine
Trying not to remember, trying our best
To stop time and our hearts from beating

Walking down a long lonely road
Ever closer nearing the edge
Stepping out off the gravel grade
Walk along right next to the ledge
Saw a cross above the treeline
After traversing the dark tunnel
Passing beneath the overpass
For you he gave his life; He died

Smooth water across was like glass
Tension broken with just a touch
Divide between; a deep abyss
Moving disturbing did so much
He stepped out on top of the brine
Don’t worry child you did it well
Nobody there gave a Rat’s ***
He rose revived the Son survived

Touching the surface a clean slate
Dip it in deep creating wake
The sky a perfect reflection
Send out ripples filling the lake
Long ago past ancient timeline
Rose up high in a cloud funnel
Finally reached critical mass
Emerging on the otherside