I've become pale
confronting
the idea that these
deafening thoughts  
might actually
be my own,
a troubled view
that I've gone through
the world is dark
when i'm alone
so I stay quiet,
as still as one can be
if I play
hide & seek
with silence
maybe
the silence
wont find me.

I don't perform my own rhymes
Personally I feel I don't have much time
People tell me I'm good at poetry
Man I only do it to unwind
We all need a break sometime
-
After this then I'll be fine again
Until the voices come knocking on my door again
Roll some **** up and get high again
Pick up my pen and write my train of thoughts again
So much for an escape plan
-
I talk but no one is really listening
So I write these words down
Hoping you'll hear my voice as you're reading
Hoping you'll get a sense of how I'm feeling
-
This is just my way of dealing
Calm down, stop worrying
This is my way of healing
My thoughts haunt me at night as I look up to the ceiling
But my heart is at ease
Because I know God is seeing me
My soul is at peace
Because God is still blessing me
-
Lowkie©

Voices
            Voices
                         Voices
Constantly speaking,
Raging
              Whispering
Talking?

Why won't they be QUIET,
silence...
Speaking; chatting; voices
                  Voices
   Voices

I can hear them in my head.
They speak louder at night,
All I want is sleep in my bed.
The sound in my head is like a bite.

No not sound.
Voices
               Voices
                                 Voices.

No sleep for me,
No sleep for them.
So why do they speak faster,
While my mind slinks slower.

Wait...
            silence...
                             At last...

The voices begin to sleep
Yet my mind is awake.
Thinking, guessing, hurting.
My eyes are heavy while my head is light.

The voices.
They talk again.
Simple, easing, slow.
Their words flow like honey.

Sweet and savory,
Whispering truths of the past...
Or are they my living lies.
My eyes do not know.

For they drop to darkness,
Ending the voices noise
From the fore and bringing
The sweet darkness of dark sleep.

My heart’s in lockdown and
I can’t break free,
I wish I could feel something,
Wish I could be me.

I feel like I’m running in circles,
Striving for emotion,
When all I feel is numb
And sick of my devotion

To the voices in my head
Who keep telling me to quit,
“Why not just give up now,
There’s no way to fix it!”

But I know there’s something there,
In the deepest part of me,
Something that still wants to learn,
Love and move and breathe.

So I will spend some time today,
And love that part of me,
And lock down all the saddened parts and
Start to break free.