You were always the type for hit it and quit it, i don't know why i thought this time would be any different.
I caused you a lot of stress,
and you stayed ******* with my head
But eventually you wore me down and i just gave in.
I experienced so many firsts with you, all in the same two hour time frame
But once i gave my virginity to you, you stopped replying to my messages.
It wasn't a big deal to me, i just wish you'd be real with me.
This message has been on 'read' since the day that it happened, when all i was asking was if you'd want it to happen again.
It was a fun time tho, so thanks for that i suppose.  
I just wish you'd stop being such a ******* head **** and let me know what your true intentions are.

I was lively
And full of dreams
I chased the dark skies
And waited for him...
I was mere eighteen
When love happened to me
He was only twenty
And irresistible to me...
We talked long hours
No matter; Day or night
We made promises
Under those dim lights...
He touched me
With his voice
And My body shivered
Every time he said goodbye...
We walked for miles
And shared our lives
He said he was broken
And needed me by his side...
He gave all the love
I ever asked for
In return
He used to smile and walk off...
Weeks and months passed
Until he asked me
He wanted me to take another step
And surrender myself to him...
I was scared
And was definitely not ready
I kept silent
While he kept reminding me of my duties...
His voice changed
And so his touch
As if he was waiting all this long
To unbutton my shirt...
I was confused
While he made a distance
As if I was the culprit here
And needed the punishment...
I finally surrendered
And he smiled
He held me in his arms
While I felt broken and cheated...
But i still had hope
In my diminishing love
I decided to end my virginity
To save my precious love...
He did all he wanted
Day and night
But it was his touch
That doesn't sound right...
Now it's the body
That all he ever wanted
My soul was lost
But he never bothered to ask why?
I wept in darkness
And lonely night
He only called and messaged
When he wanted to undress me by his side...
I was cheated and
My love was lost
He used me
Like a *** toy...
I finally spoken
And broken up with him
He smiled and went away
As if I never meant anything to him...
This is the truth
Which I wanted to share
Don't lose your virginity and soul
To someone who says I love you and want to see you naked....
I was lively
And full of dreams
I chased the dark skies
And waited for him...
I was mere eighteen
When love happened to me
He was only twenty
And irresistible to me...

it was late nights that we stayed up talking about stupid ****
the night was young
we were two sexually frustrated people
i was curious
and your eyes were wanting
what I  was willing to give
your words were slipping into me
and making me feel like I was the best thing
you told me you loved me
and that you would never leave
but you ended up leaving

-H.M.

Once upon a time
There were fairies called, V fairies
Fairies who were so beautiful and fine
It was magical, their existence

They lived inside maidens
Who were ought to protect them
In return, the fairies embodied them
With purity as shiny as a diamond emblem

These fairies were sought by every men
For they are the greatest gift that can be bestowed to them
That's why they seek for the perfect maiden
From whom this wish, they can attain

The maidens were set on a journey
To find warriors who are worthy
Warriors who love sincerely
And will vow to cherish them for eternity

The fairies those times were well-respected
They were treasures almost impossible to find
The fairies were boldly protected by their maidens
They are only given to those truly worthy ones

Fast forward to this generation however
Through time, the maidens eventually are weakened
They have let their guards down
And thought all men were worthy of the crown

The V fairies are not given anymore
They are forcefully taken, oftentimes with gore
They are taken due to curiosity, or worst
Taken because of lust, then perpetrators disappear like ghosts

Fairies became men's collections
More fairies, more rights to boast
More manly they are than before
More wins at the competition they build on their own

Maidens lost their credibility as the fairies' protectors
They didn't care about them, like they're not part of them anymore
Throwing them away when they're bored
Not caring if many men do hoard

V fairies were not gifts anymore
V fairies were taken away even without the promise of forevermore
V fairies were simply picked up like on a shopping galore
V fairies were disrespected, to adore no more

But there are beliefs that some of the fairies survived
Living within maidens who stood firm and with their best, tried
To find worthy ones and battle with the wicked
To let the fairies stainless and protected

There are beliefs also that worthy warriors are still there
Who still respects and cherish the value of the diamond emblem
Who knows how to wait until the fairies are given to them
And knows how to take care of their chosen maidens

With these beliefs there's still hope for the future
That the responsibility of a maiden to its fairies will be nurtured
A hope that this will be passed on to generations after
In a hope that V fairies will have a happily ever after

the body of this poem is about two bodies, sometimes poetic things are ***** and sometimes ***** things are poetic things under the dirt of what i'd been taught my whole life about my virginity. i was told that if i lost it i wouldnt be able to find it again. i was not told about a boy, tall and skinny and blonde, blue-gray eyes, i was not told that i would kiss him, i was not told that my kiss would be his first. i didnt know at the time that summer would collapse into one moment, i could never have guessed that two crazy transgender boys could coincide with virginity as strongly as we pressed our bodies together. i was fourteen years old and my body was a choppy pencil sketch of anorexia and rib damage, of breast tissue and scar tissue, of anxiety and hipbones. he was fifteen years old and to me he was beautiful, everything strange and weird in our brains was erased and forgotten, fogged up with our heavy breathing. i am wrapped up in firsts and lasts and the first time was not entirely the world-shattering that it was built up to be, we were built up, and then i forget why we stopped. but we stopped. but we stopped being far apart and afraid to tell each other how close we wished we were. we learned how to commit heavy sins, the kind that make you feel good. we learned that our relationship is textbook unhealthy, but unhealthy people means unhealthy partners means unhealthy- means *******, we are trying our best and *******, this is what love means. this tangle of fingers. we learned that we have to not only have secrets but become them. we didnt have to be taught what it feels like to need someone. we didnt need to learn how it tastes to be absolutely sure of something.
my entire life i was taught that i should save myself for a man, but instead i let go of myself and loved a boy.

*****, *****, *****.

You can feel their skin on yours and you can't escape.
You're so scared,
But this is what you did, and now it's your fate.

You gave it all away when you were young and naive,
Not thinking of how things could possibly be.

Now what about her?
The one you love,
The one you would die for.
She's saving herself for you,
And you can't do that,
Because you gave it all away years ago.

You cry now,
So ashamed of who you've become,
What does anything matter if you're ruining everything you love?

You didn't know things would turn out this way.
You gave everything away,
Not knowing you'd be here today.

Clutching the grass,
And tearing out your throat with your screams.
You gave it all away,
And it didn't mean a thing.

But try to explain that to her,
You didn't mean it,
And it wasn't even real.

But you did it,
And that's all we need to know
You did it,
And now they have to go.

You're alone,
And no one can hear you scream,
"IM SORRY FOR WHAT I DID,
I DIDNT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS"

But you're tainted,
And you're no longer pure,
You have to live with what you did,
And there is no cure.

No cure to turn you back,
And no cure to make her stay.
What you did is unforgiving,
And you live with it today.

Save yourself for someone that's worth dying for, don't give it away.

It's hard to feel ****
when you're an unemployed college drop-out
who lives with her mother,
and your most recent achievement
is the stabilization of your short term memory.

I've got my thumb over the send button
of a text to a local ex
who was here in this same room
about, oh, five years ago
putting on his shirt while I
sat on this same bed,
neither ****** nor mother,
calculating the recent decrease in value of my soul.

They ask me how I feel.
How could I explain this?
The cracks and sizzles beneath my skin when anyone touches me now.
The snapping of my guts being removed from me,
and the empty pit left within.
My skin covered in
layers and layers and layers
of don't look at me.
I'm ashamed.
How could I tell the reasons
why my tears threaten to run away from me,
but I pull them back in.
Holding onto them tight,
so no one knows.
As if the salty water could wash away my front.
How could I make them grasp the fact that everything personal I've had is gone.
Every secret spread across my face.
Every crack and scrape once covered by makeup,
now pulsing redder and hotter than before.
There is no words for how I feel.
There is no script of what to say.
There's only one time I get to feel this way.
And it is the most terrifying thing in the world.