Having a mind that travels through memories and makes poems out of them is not always a good thing. Sometimes when your mind is traveling, it gets stuck onto a memory that really haunts your soul. You want to forget, but yet you want to remember it all over again that memory keeps replaying in your Cerebrum and it slowly destroys you, bit by bit. And before you can even realize it, the memory has completely enveloped you.

I've never been so interested in a somebody.
I've seen love,
but have never felt love.
I'm not quite sure i know how,
none of the less know how to show it.
I'm a lost cause,
just another messed up individual
in this very large world.
I will soon become nothing,
and mean nothing
to this very ground i walk upon today.
So why waste my life
trying to learn how to love
when in order to do that,
you must first love yourself.
And that,
is the hardest thing of them all to do.

I've been laying in my bed for quite some time now, and as usual I've been thinking. But this time it's different. It's not the happy thinking you'd think I was thinking. But it's the dark thinking that follows me like a shadow. I would never tell you this.
Just like I'd never tell you how I think about the nights we've spent together. Or that I'd never tell you I can't go to those restaurants anymore without seeing you there. How the park isn't a park anymore. How I can't even lay in my bed without thinking of the cuddles and hours we spent talking on it. But I'd never tell you that.
I'll never tell you how much I regret everything. I'll never tell you how I pull up a message to you, but I can't find any words to say so I just cancel it. If you ever text me I'll pretend to be happy, not to hurt you, but to help you move on. If you ever asked me how my day went, they're always slow and dead. I sleep a majority of the time an when I'm not sleeping I'm thinking of what we used to be and I'm crying. But I'd never tell you that, "I'm fine," I'd say. And it would break my f*cking heart to watch you walk away, but I'm the bad guy. So I'd never tell you that.

I want you to be comfortable with me
To feel free in my presence
To spit what comes to mind
And not think about the sentence
And just tell me how you feel
Cause you're not made of steel
And if you were hurt before
I can help you heal

But you're not listening to me
You're barely hearing what I'm saying
Cause you're being shy and timid
And I'm the one who's paying
For whatever you don't tell me
Cause I know it had to hurt you
But you play the strong guy and I admire your virtue

I wanna hear whats in you're mind
And taste the lips of your soul
Touch the hands of your past
And smell success in ya future goals
I need to see you show me that maybe I am trusted
Cause if you don't trust me it's fine
Maybe you ain't love and just lusted

But tell me
Tell me how your emotions are acting
Cause I see through ya smile
Inside I know you're cracking
Tell me
You not letting me walk with you through the hands of time
And sharing with me the evilness that's lurking in ya mind

I wanna be able to look at you and be on the same level
Cause if we're both going to hell, we're both meeting the same devil
I ain't here to judge you
And I won't hate you for before
I understand you might be hurting
Cause I have my own sores

So I can be your friend
I can be your help
I can be support
With everything you've dealt
I can be a savior
I can be a shrink
I can be ya motivation
If you want to sink

I can be ya trust
But do you even know what trust is?
Cause I'm trying to show you how
I've learned what true love is
Therefore
Tell me about the love
Tell me about the hate
Cause you accepting yourself
That's what makes a person great.