Everyday I fight my loneliness.
Everyday I tell myself I am strong.
I can survive on my own.
I don't need anyone.
I don't need you.
I don't need you, I want you.
I want you next to me.
I want my heart to stop hurting.
I want you to tear down my walls.
Storm my castle.
Take me over.

This rising tide of violence
In the silence of fury
The world getting blurry
Fading voices
Baiting choices
Heartbeats in a hurry
Lost decisions in remission
Still staying the course
I force the temper down
Drowned in smoke
To choke the anger out
This time my mind is
SO LOUD
I find the rhyme helps it to
Fade Out.

You could find someone better, trust me I'm someone who hides their feelings beneath their sweaters I'm a distanced person who spaces out even in the moments that are most important. My anxiety keeps me from saying the things that I want to blurt out so badly but cannot because of the words that others will slap down on me. Trust me I'm not someone to stand beside. Toxicity engulfs me often I'm barely pushing through this sticky path that was created out of hate my anxiety is always entertained do you not understand the pain that these people have caused me to feel!?
Insane.
I always thought I was, because my thoughts often turned from happy to horrific once something bad had been said, well what did you expect?! For me to be perfectly happy afterwords and forgive you as if you had never meant the words that twisted and slurred around in my mind, ******* it's about time you learned your place bullying is not something that can be accepted so easily so stop doing it for ***** sake I cannot begin to describe the way I hated myself for so long! I'm damaged even now from back then and it's been so long! I know you don't give not one single ****. It's depressing really, how empty I had and have felt because of you..
Let me try to define this kind of pain for you since I know you'd never be able to handle the things that went through my mind after what you had caused me to feel. You see I have always been trapped inside of a shell, even when I was very young I was shy but you made it a point to deny it's all in my mind you said to me a billion times but did you know that I was dreaming of dying, drowning, suffocating, nearly injuring myself as the tears would fall down. I was a suicidal case thanks to the things people had forced me to endure you thought it was funny but would you still if you knew how violent I had become towards myself?!
Just try to imagine now, you have a child and will probably have more what will you say to them when they come rushing in through the door, their angering tears slapping down against the floorboards as if they were raindrops will you let them know you were not a victim!? I bet you will lie and tell them something to confide in I hope for their sake you do because if I knew that my parents caused others to feel such ways well ******* I bet I'd have went insane knowing I was living in the same house as a perpetrator. *How could you do that, mother!?

Shut, I kept my mouth.
Avoiding you and everything else.
I never liked you and probably never would.
But I don't spread lies like you do.

I will try to be good
But never forget:

darling, even the brightest things cast dark shadows close by
And when that bright thing refuses to shine, you will be ****** to darkness you have never seen.

I guess this happens every time;
I never say goodbye to those who leave.
So once again here's everything I never told you, but it's all you this time.
Remember when we would throw rocks at the stagnant pond like pounding them against a monumental moment on a timeline strung from our soliloquies sounding out against the blockade air, and now just silence.
Well here's to another rant,
Except now you'll have to settle for a bitter poem just like you'll settle with your relationships.
So here's to all the wasted pursuit of a companion.
When the tide finally came in with the message in a bottle holding our fate,
I saw you'd rather immerse yourself in comfort than face the rough knowledge you always conveyed to me so adamantly.
And in that moment I realized you were the loveliest hypocrite I ever befriended, but now you're just a lost soul, with no eyes and ears to watch or listen.
And it's a wonder I don't lose myself all over again when your sturdy rock crumbles and dissipates away.

I used to believe
In a mighty God
Who'd take care of me.

I used to believe
In Him, but
It's hard to have faith in
What you can't see.

And I used to have faith
In my family,
But you know me.
I have no more faith, honestly.

I told em read between the line cnt you see threw all of this the pain in my eyes
I wear this mask as a disguise so you people can't realize I'm jus a human being
Is our soul perpous to believe that we are here to sin and forgive as a soldier if I **** will I not go to help knowing I live to take others lives
Reality is I'm cold hearted cold as the freezing point that turn water to ice
But does that mean I dont care I mean I take orders from higher rankinging but does that mean it's fair to play God and take life from others that are there
Believing in their own religon but that proves my point everyone sees life in their own viewpoint aspect or vision
It was my own decision to raise my right hand and take the oath
To do what's right for my country
  The questions I ask but will never know I have my comrades back in what ever the outcome will go to wether I lose him or he loses me
All I can do is pick up my m4 shoot back and stay loyal to my country
You civilians will never understand the pain us soldiers have to go threw
Picture a world that no war was fought all sides withdrew from fighting and peace talk happen
A PERFECT WORLD WOULD BE THE CAPTION
But it won't ever be that because we live in a world where it's action and reaction
Good will always come with bad it's elementary adding and subtracting

Anyone who knew her last name knew the fire she set in the heart of the expresser. I called her Bri, girl wonder, the original poetic queen by her own words. She called me her poetic god when I was first getting off of my feet in expressive poetry.
I took it slow, like a freeze-frame of which I’m not too proud of. If I may, I’d like to sort of explain what was happening in my position.  A beautiful day, cirrus clouds, December Alabamian weather. I was leaving, never to return or try my hand at our love again and all I wanted to do was show love to the one who’d declared she would desire it from me.
Insane.
Insane for thinking that a request of which as simple as it is can rearrange the very fabric of time would be accepted into the universe and granted to me as a blessing and a step forward in lively progress. My last wish was a simple kiss.
But it wasn’t meant to be.
Why? Why something so harmless as a that would put so many barriers before itself in an effort to avoid it is beyond me, but what I do know is that it haunts me to know that I missed my opportunity and let out an emotion of neglection, and I hope she didn’t create a feel of aggravated rejection In her heart, for that wasn’t my intention.
She, my dancing queen, right? Shier than the sun at two A.M, too self-conscious about the smallest detail yet still flawless, true poet by accident yet a poet all the same.
This woman’s worth, like Maxwell. The worst like Jhene Aiko. But my ribbon in the sky like Stevie Wonder, basically a symphony of emotion that I played a part in. I, a master of ceremonies in her play of life as she expressed herself and wrapped me in layer upon layer of unknowing intimacy.
Why? Why do I always fall for your type?
Why did I fall for you?
I can’t explain without uprising the controversy in my heart, the controversy growing in my soul,
Love.
What I believe we were trying to achieve before the divide, the main reason I sit on the couch listening to love songs and counting my losses as they compare to my blessings and curse the time that brings turns in events, buildings to the ground, men to their knees in submission to the will of it.
Love
What I would’ve said if I’d had time to show more of it. You are the ocean to my sea creature, the grasslands to my herbivore, the nature to my nature, a perfect fit through connection.
Thick lips, wide hips, dark chocolate skin with a clueless soul, I was the gateway in progress, the channel for the guided ship. You made me find myself better, closer, more accurately, and I will never forget you for it.
Not everyone is meant to keep in contact, but our souls are entwined within a universe all their own, a dance floor to you, a laptop and forum for me, completely customizable, and a warm embrace where our worlds collide and create the aftermath, the afterlife, of which all shall witness the greatness of such a creation.
The abdication of a king, the separation of a natural pair, the things that we must live through, so if you remember me, When you remember me, think of the possibilities, the unknown realm that we never explored.
Brianna
The heat of the fire I kindled in my heart, the girl who left the mark of possibility and opened my mind.
My first queen, my billionth girlfriend, but first pending love. I gave her her credits and accolades once more.

How exciting it must be
To sit and talk and talk at me
And never hear a nervous squeak
When they should want to leave.

I know the process that you think
The way you throw the kitchen sink
That leaves both minds upon the brink
I'll really have to leave, I think.

And so I stay three hours more
As you follow us from store to store
You talk and talk, it is a bore
I will soon leave, of that I'm sure.

You force your thoughts on us again
You don't know but you speak up then
Half and half so much you spend
So I will leave or 'round the bend.

My heart is beating in my chest
My feet are sore, far from their best
I need to have a long, long rest
Oh my, I am so glad I left.