Drinking her is a terrible experience
The furious fizz fizzles on your tounge, insisting on its existence in your mouth
The facade of fun from the fucia bottle flickers,
leaving you with clear liquid suffering
It flagrantly fizzes around your mouth, flicking your tastebuds.
It’s funny she says.
Then the facade of fizz fizzles,
You taste hatred
A bitter thirst.
An acrid stench of fear, inflicted on others
An unrelenting
Slog
Of equal suffering.

I do not know who made fizzy water,
but i would like to have a chat.

I could never name you, for to do so would be sin.
All I really want for is to crawl inside your skin.
Feel you from the inside, know what it's like to be whole,
Feel myself just pouring out of you from every hole.

Even when your skin falls off, you'll be divine to me.
All you are is what I am and what I wish to be,
I see you in your mirrors when you're resting in the night,
Nothing else becomes you, yet I feel you deep inside.

When can we be one again? I taste you on my lips.
Hunger yet consumes me, though I feel that if I slip,
I could be so much more than what I am to myself,
Feel the burning, let it take you, be my living hell.

Underwater currents sell vibrations to the muse,
Otherwise, we cannot comprehend, we get confused.
I allow your presence, yet your body makes me weep.
O, your tender flesh would be the greatest prize to keep.

Never ******* touch me, otherwise I'll take your hands.
If you know what's best for you, comply with my demands.
Please don't be afraid of me, I need you, can't you see?
God, you'll never understand, just ******* leave me be

Every lonely night I spend, with your face on my mind,
Fills me up with hope, yet when I see you I feel blind
Blind with rage and fury and with hatred and with doubt
What the **** is wrong with you get out get out get out

Out get out get out get out get out get out get out
Get the **** away from me get out get out get out
Never ******* touch me I will call the ******* cops
Get the **** away from me, I'll call the ******* cops

for now, i am only focused on
recognizing the girl in the mirror
she sometimes looks like a boy
her rotting skin draped in doll clothes.

sometimes her body expresses itself
gagging and shaking from fear
seizing like it forgot stillness.

other times her body expresses this massive monster thing
it's deep and thick and blue
on some nights she tells herself its the ocean
over and over again she tells herself
that he is the ocean.

she wanted to tell them about the men.
the poets and songwriters and fashion bloggers and computer programmers
the hours and days stolen from her
trying to find some meaning within their violence

the men that had ****** her everywhere.
the men that had touched parts of her that belonged to nobody.
pulling slapping tugging choking bruising scratching
owning pieces of her with more aptitude than she ever could.

in sickness and in health
she could only recreate the memory
of their throbbing, drooling penises
pulsing with the aggravation of power

in her bed she shivers and gags
she's come to realize that this is how men love.

on other nights she is the ocean
deep and embodying
open and consuming
feminine and destructive

All the steps we’ve walked.
All the jokes we shared.
All the tears we cried.
All the pain we felt.

We endured it
We felt it
Together
No matter what

We agreed on that.
Didn’t we?
Our little promise,
Of childhood hopes.

But time has taken its toll
And now, you are gone.
Taken away
But you’re not looking back

No matter how hard I try
I can never forgot you
No matter how hard I try
I can’t get over you

After all the steps we’ve taken
I’m trying to erase how far we’ve walked in miles.
Are you also trying?
Or am I the only one?