i'm different now, id like to think
reading the past is as strange as it seems

a girl, so lost
i see

its hard to bare, the words of her/
i see into her,

so many years of pain, filled with resentment
for herself,

misunderstanding of the fact,
that she needs a reason to exist

she just does

I was scared to lose you. Because instead of hearing people, I listened   to them.
And listening to them hurt. It hurt so much tears fell down and I forgot I had value.
Living with my own principles is tough. For everywhere I go, I see them misjudge me, criticize me and laugh at me.

But I am stronger than they are, right? We all are. We are wandering in this world that it not ours. We are suffering in this world for it is home. And it is okay. For love is stronger and whoever and wherever you are, someone loves you.

fall in love with yourself
the way that you want
to be loved.

stop letting strangers take
refuge in your body.

you are not a
momentary place.

you were not built to be
someone’s hideaway
or vacation house.

you were not designed
to handle people
walking in and out
of your life.

your body is tired
of hurting.

tell these short-term
visitors to leave.

the scratches and
scuff marks left by
their careless actions
do not define you.

you expect abandonment.
permanence feels foreign.
someone staying feels
unnatural to you.

but please remember that
you deserve to be
so much more than a
resting spot for someone
to briefly stop at, and
continue on their way.

despite what you may
believe about yourself,
you are not temporary.

please, be kind to yourself.

as you travel through life,
remember that it doesn’t matter
whether you believe it or not.
you are worth it.
and not believing that doesn’t
make it any less true.

please, stop searching
for another guest.

find someone who
feels less like a tourist,
and more like a home.

Hushing my voice isn't needed as I never inflict pain on my throat where my voice's value is nugatory.