A waste of every second you live.
A million time incarnation
Nothing of “will” to give.
A product of mental castration.
Swallowed by the void
Of mass incarceration.

Elapsing the days.
Indifferent to life
As your body decays.
Living for another,
Ego denied.
Longing to survive with
A devoted persistence.
Succumb to a useless existence.

The more it hurts
The more I smile
because the smile has the power
To make it useless.

If I'm just as useless as I think I am, tell me
I can't keep parading around like I'm doing something right,
When obviously I'm not

I'm tired of not being helpful.
I am done with not caring.
I try to help and I do care,
But everything I do and everything I say
Dissipate into the air like cigarette smoke

I panic, I worry, I cry, I fear,
But nothing gets done.
Nothing gets done because my heart fills with all these emotions
That I end up screaming without me knowing it
That I end up screaming at everyone else Instead of screaming at God
(Who deserves all the screaming I want to do for making me this way)

If I'm useless
Then I'm useless
No stopping that
I just wish
Someone would tell me the truth

there’s a few things I carry
despite not having a need
tiny things hidden in my pack
but they don’t bother me

a fossilized shark tooth is my favorite
given to me by a child

next is four different lipsticks
all roughly the same shade

a rock shaped like a triangle
I found on the bay

two pairs of gloves
one brown, one black

a limited edition Dum-dum pop
picked up from my bank

a button from my jacket
I still need to fix

three pens
one black, two blue

still the most useless thing I carry
is my love for you

the best people are contained
in a perfect mix of anxiety,
broken and missing pieces,
and the chain of thoughts of being unworthy
unloved
and
insiginificant.