Our worlds were mixed
like a glove with
the perfect fit
until I fell away
into demons that weren’t
there only to satiate
and now that I have
broken free of their chains
I can accept the mendacious
nature of my past apologies;
now I can encapsulate
how dreamers sometimes
forget to breathe

So I’ll keep watching the way
you float in detachment
not only for you, but also
for me: it’s no longer child’s play,
there’s no more blinking
in regard to capturing
the ascension we need,
in regard to securing
your heart

Like water in my veins
answers are converging with
my bones-
I want to re-assess that fitment,
to be your missing part,
and hold onto our sacredness
until it is in togetherness
where we embrace
the ever pulling unknown

I want love. You do too, do we all? No,
Not me, to you. Apparently, I
Don't exist. Do you?

I could feel my love
That I don't have -
This being alone,
Wearing the open air
Like Nakedness.

Vision dressed in
Nobody, not even
I.


Prayers answer every god.

If we were made to write down our thoughts
and to draw out our pains
I'd have nothing to write
nothing to say
I'd stare at the paper, as you asked me why
I'd say sorry for something I couldn't explain
not to you, and not to them
these things are to be said and forgotten
a way to keep together, a way not to lose it
And if I could move again, i'd move my hand
to lift up the pencil, my body feeling like sand
Height continued to increased as they forced me to mark
down my problems, happiness, and skills
but what emerged became scribbles
to turn the paper black
the thing that I swore to you
I promise wasn't there, it was just the sense I lacked
If I were to explain how to say the words
I would choke on myself, to turn into ash
that's all that would remain

an angel and a devil materialize on each shoulder,

standing beneath the stage lights,

empty-mouthed, waiting for a whisper of a line,

but who is to say what’s wrong or right?

i know I’m not.

their playbook dances in my head,

so if not me, then who?

n.h.

I am a little older now,
Neither grew taller nor became bigger,
Just a little rusted cogs here and there,
Joint with a dimmer shine of dreamy eyes.

In many places I have been
Novels and books I've read.
Yet not much have I seen,
Not far I could tread.

And then the slower my marches became,
No strength could I muster.
My thoughts were sunk in a haze by then,
No forward could I luster.

So I'm just a little old now,
Though sinking, my heart hasn't drowned now.
But it's cold here and I'm scared.
"Hope it won't be too late to ask for help
I'm afraid"