No. Worse than that.
She loved you in every single one, just not ours.
She cared for me once in all my life when it benefitted her.
And cast you out when it was convenient to save you.
She loved us in all but one.
And we got the shortest straw...

Have you ever wondered
If your existence was simply
A universal mistake?
That when your mom talks about
Almost making sure
That you weren't born
That something got in the way
That shouldn't have?

I lay here in agony
Believing this
Believing in my supposed
Unexistance

When she talks about forgetting
That you even exist
Other than when she randomly gets
A little reminder
I sit and I wonder
If that's maybe just the universe glitching
Because somewhere in some time
I wasn't meant to be

I sit and I wonder
If my supposed unexistance
Can explain everything away
Because maybe its the universes way
Of trying to correct its mistake

I'm not a mistake here
Not there
Or anywhere on a level of your attention
I'm a mistake on the level
Of universal inattentiveness

My existence has been pure hell
Full of near death experiences
Via my own hands and others
But I am a quantum mistake
That isn't easily erased
Even tho I long to be

I sit and I wonder
If my supposed unexistance
Can explain everything away
Because maybe its the universes way
Of trying to correct its mistake

Are all the failed relationships
Simply because the universal pairs
Made between one person and another
Had never included me in the equation?

Is my upbringing full of abuse
And horrors beyond comprehension
Simply because you can't love
Something that wasn't meant to be
In existence?

Does my body fail me
Fall apart
And crumble more and more
Throughout every year that passes
Simply because I wasn't meant to be?

Is the reason that no supports
Can be accessed by me
And I can't get any help for me
Or my disabilities
Simply because the world wasn't built to house me?

Is my existence a universal
Quintessential
Quantum mistake?

One that will only be corrected
By my
Unexistance?

I believe the answer is yes
Because I am floating
Unbound
Through pain
And through hell
With no universal help

In the galaxy, stars brightly gleam,  
A massive collection, a cosmic dream.  
Gas, dust, and dark matter,  
In spirals, they scatter,  
Held by gravity's powerful theme.  

Ellipticals glide, irregulars play,  
In the vastness of night, they dance and sway.  
The idol we praise,  
Through the celestial maze,  
Guiding our hearts, light-years away.

There is an extravagant kaleidoscope of galactic colors, in the paradox of your eyes.
The more human you are.
The deeper the universe inside.
We stand beneath a lachrymose sky,
that rains diamond pieces of our ancient lives.
We loved in a time before the birth of stars.
While the universe was cooling,
My heart grabbed into the depths of creation
to gravitate towards yours......

I have arrived.
In the spaces between everything.
Suspended in both the sweet bliss and stark horror
the nothingness can bring.
I've searched  and scoured the astral plane
for pieces of you.
But your energy remains like a strange galactic dew.

Or do your soul's remnants exist solely
in the confines of my mind?
Is the universe really that unkind?
Don't answer.

There is never definitive proof that there is more.
I'm tangled in the eternal dissection of the mysteries
that hound my core.

In the startling silence of black night.
The ancient stars sweetly whine
with the weight of countless wishes.
Secret desires succeed in shine,
burning with the chance for fruition.
Of those that longed with daily battle cries.
To end torments that the sun brightly denied.

And when the day arrives wearing heaven's blue.
Never forget, strength has a voice too.
Star beaming out of you.

The night was a twinkling glitter shower.
The moon's pale lemon light,
caressed the intoxicating sleepy flowers.  
A whisper from the universe,
assured me I was not alone.  
My silent primordial dreams,
were already known.  
Galaxies joyously remember me.  
They recognize my energy.  
It glistens, the celestial shine of night.  
Makes what lays beyond,
seem revelation bright.

F♯ is G♭
In a realm where the moon hugs a bright balloon,
A spoon listens softly to a far-off tune.
Stars hide in jars with dreams tucked away
And even sharp notes find a home in play.

For here in our cosmos of chaos and art,
Every note sings a secret straight from the heart.
In this magical sphere, where opposites chat,
We whisper with wonder, “F♯ is G♭ - imagine that!”

The universe twirls to a rhythm so light,
Where silly, surreal sounds make the dark bright.
Each note, a spark in a fantastical debate,
Proving that strict rules can sometimes wait.

So join in the mirth, let your spirit take flight,
Dance with the stars in the soft lunar light.
For in this delightful, nonsensical spin,
Every tune is a story where adventure begins!

Starlight Sonata
Deep in the velvet of a midnight sky,
A symphony of secrets begins to sigh.
The piano of stars chimes soft and bright,
Every key a dream in the heart of night.

F♯ mingles with G♭ in a cosmic embrace,
Notes waltzing freely through time and space.
Each twinkling melody, both bold and sweet,
Whispers that wonder and whimsy do meet.

Nebula Lullaby
In a world where clocks gently unspin,
Celestial rhythms invite us in.
The moon, a gentle guardian, holds a balloon,
While spoons and jars hum a quirky tune.

Celestial choirs in a cosmic parade,
Sing of hidden treasures in midnight’s glade.
Every note, a spark in a dreamy flight,
Guides little hearts in the dance of night.

The Cosmic Chorus
Join the cosmic chorus, let your giggles flow,
Dance with the stars as they twinkle and glow.
In this magical realm where rules are few,
Every sound sings a story that's ever new.

So let us celebrate the freedom of song,
Where every note tells us we all belong.
In the playful realms of this musical maze,
Find joy in chaos and light in each phrase.

Old radio occupies
desolated shop, unmoved
When it opens, transmission
change from time to time, untamed
Fuzzy haze filled the airwaves
I still listen to its sounds

Buzz, it says where have you been
Buzz, it replied from business
A short break from the DJ
Here comes Gymnopedie 1
I played the keyboard, you're right
Buzz, to another channel
Conversation between me
and unnamed friend as we dive
Into the vastness of the
universe. "We're not alone,"
I started, looking above.
"We are just a grain of sand."
"But where is everybody?"
Pondered he, puffing smoke in
the stillness of pitch darkness.
I nodded, "maybe because
Advanced civilizations
sought to isolate themselves."

White noise swallowed the broadcast
I am here again sitting
in the cobweb-covered shop
Blur faces from the window
Cars intersect, then part ways
My body yearns for repose
They say sleep rest our psyche
But I know my wire so well
Sleep does not rest my psyche
My frequency pilgrimage
Across the land, sea to sea
I can hear the radio
Constantly, halted to flee
An unfamiliar station
entered the box of audio
At full volume, I'm all ears.