Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Cynthia Apr 17
I still can’t see myself in the mirror.

I am afraid that when I look at my reflection,
I wouldn’t bear seeing what I’ve become.
My eyes would still carry the same weight they did so many years ago.
Physically growth is evident,
most of my wounds had scarred,
my hair grew a couple inches.

I am most afraid of what I see beyond the surface.
I mean the most minute and insignificant details that shape who I am hidden to be.
I lack the “shine” in my eyes.
The slump in my shoulders from the heavy burden I’ve carried through life.

The mirror is my most intimate friend,
and that scares me even more.
It’s seen my most vulnerable moments.
Moments that my own mind tries to erase through sleepless nights,
yet when I see mirror
it all floods back like a hurricane I wasn’t warned of.

When I look in the mirror I see myself from my perspective,
and I drown in my self hatred.
I have to face myself,
someone I despise so much.
To the point it almost physically aches.

I can’t look at myself because in me I see her,
a girl I once was… I once knew.
Would she have ever forgiven me?
For what I turned out to be.
I want to know how she did it,
I used to think growth brought healing yet honestly I envy her more than I think she’d envy me.
How did she manage to deal with it?
And why did I loose that?
Where did it all go to hell?

“I’m sorry”
Is all I’m able to say.

I look back up at the mirror.
I still hate it,
can’t stand it.
I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with the person I turned out to be.
Monkey Writes Apr 18
“Everything in moderation,”
Henri’s mom said with a grin,
serving the banal advice
with red Kool-Aid
and unfiltered cigarettes.
Charan P Jan 10
I’m weird,  
for dreaming in broad daylight,
for speaking in riddles,
and letting my silence speak louder than words.  

I’m weird,
because my thoughts spill out in silence,
hovering on my lips like secrets,
and when I speak,
the world looks away,
as if the truth in my voice
is something they’re not ready to hear.

I’m weird,
for finding beauty in broken things—
the fragments others throw away,
and in the bruises I hide beneath my skin.
They whisper stories,
reminding me of the pieces I hold together in myself,
stories (that) only I seem to understand.

I’m weird,  
because I laugh when I want to cry,  
and cry when no one else does—  
my tears fall for the stars,  
and my heart breaks for the moon.  
I feel too much,  
love too fiercely,  
as if my soul was made  
for a world too fragile to last.

I’m weird,
for I don’t fit in the spaces they give me,  
so I carve my own,  
even if it means standing  
on the edge, alone.

But if weird is what I am,  
then let it be,  
for I’d rather be this beautiful ache,  
this painful bloom of something true,  
than fold myself small enough  
to fit into a world  
that never made room  
and never will.

I’m weird,  
and maybe that’s the best thing I’ll ever be—  
not perfect, not easy to understand,  
but real, raw,  
and unashamed  
of every odd, jagged piece  
that makes me whole.
dead poet Jan 1
i never believed i could fly...
yet, the other day,
i found myself 30,000 ft in the air -
yet again -
having a hard time believing
the captain’s reassuring words.

i was stopped thrice by security;
there was so much metal on me,
you could taste it in the air around me.
i could swear the metal detector had
picked up on my insecurity -
as it swiftly brushed against a drop of
sweat at my temple.
the ‘beeps’ might as well’ve been
swear words,
censored.

having already had two hits of the ‘good stuff’
before leaving for the port,
to say i was paranoid would be an understatement.  
‘what if the machine picks up
traces of substance off my sweat?!!’
yep - i did think so.
‘twas bad.

already late for boarding,
i managed to find myself at the gate,
and into the aircraft,
at the indifferent pace of the final announcement.
the air hostess peddled a magazine my way:
i accepted it -  
read it;
then closed it;
it had no substance.

i could feel the turbulence getting louder;
in my head, that is;
there was a pressure difference,
that didn’t feel any different:
‘twas just something that had to be dealt with;
so i split the difference -
i held my breath,
and it let loose - my dread.

the branded seats featured a slogan
from a recent ad campaign by the airline
celebrating its 18th anniversary -
‘clever…’, i thought -
then turned a sour eye to the window,  
having not written it myself.

i saw the setting sun, past the surging clouds -
flares galloping across their shifting terrain
like little kids on a merry-go-round
chasing each other -
too young to realize
it was never meant to be a race.  
i couldn’t help but chuckle
at that radiant sincerity.

for all intents and purposes,
‘twas was a golden hour;
fifty five minutes,
to be precise.
Oskar Erikson Jul 2023
am I more than a drink
taken per food group
swallowed by instinct.
you’re more to me than thirst.
sliced by feeling,
unpeeled heart wrenching
take from all and, Nothing.
I wait for you here,
so perhaps the taste of you
lights back stars, and starlight.
perhaps the taste of you
finds pathways in the back of legs, of knee.
you are permenent in the heat of love
but sliced in essence.
**** ME
and ask very little in return, ask of holding.
your **** as it grows limp in the moonlight,
all I miss is the taste of your absence
all I taste is the feeling of you
finished inside of me which laid the foundations of something larger than what this body can contain,
I love it, the hurt of your breaking into me.
and hurt of the love that remains.
arCamm Apr 2022
filtered water neglects
the body of necessary
minerals…

If I am to know
the true nourishment
you bring to the table,

you must show
yourself to me…

unfiltered.
Don’t come to masked up. I want to know YOU.
fika Jan 2022
She’s raw
Unfiltered

Like the joint
She holds between her fingers

She looks at him
"Get my ******* out of your mouth"
I'm not your ******* mom
Veemz Dec 2021
MOM
I wish I could’ve been there for you
I wish I could’ve stood up for you when he put you down
I wish I could’ve put my foot down when he raised his hand at you
I wish I understood how difficult it must’ve been to raise two kids with a monster
I wish you had the vocabulary to articulate how you feel
I wish the Indian society wouldn’t judge a single mother
I wish I never gave you a hard time when I was growing up
Although I look like him I promise I won’t be like him
I will respect my wife and never lay a hand on her
I will listen to my wife and never undermine her
I will be responsible with my money and never put my family in bad situations

But most importantly I will be a great husband and father because we never had one
Family trauma reunion
Next page