The bitter irony of life
Is this:
It's the people with trust issues
Who hate being lonely
It's the people with everything
Who hate existing
It's the people with the widest smiles
Who hate smiling
It's the people who need love the most
Who remain unloved
It's the weak
Who are forced to be strong
It's the forgotten
Who long to be remembered

It is the shadow
That's frightened of the darkness
It's the chained
Who long to soar
It is the numb
Who long to feel
It is the people who crave an end to their suffering
Whom death eludes

All dressed up
With nowhere to go
A phone full of numbers
With no one to call
Guess I should have replied
To all the messages I got sent
Instead, I shut everyone out
That when you pay the price
In behind these lonely eyes
Lies dormant emotions inside
Ready to awaken from this slumber
Oh how I wish I could rewind
Make better decision in my life

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

Late night drives
Just don't work like they used to
I need someone till fills this void
There's a hole in my soul
Looking for a spark
Looking for a jumpstart
To reenergize my heart
There's something in my mind
Trying to stay optimistic
That it'll all be okay
But there's still no sign
Of an end to all this rain
There still no cure
To this pain.

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

They say home is where the heart is
Never has a line ever been so true
That why I'm out in the darkness
Searching for you
Looking for a little light
To brighten my sky
Somehow I hold onto hope
Everything's gonna work out right
Somehow I figure
I'm gonna find you
At just the right time

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

©2017 Written By Benji James

I see them laughing, shimmering,
All around her.
She is the river,
the lithe, gurgling river
That everyone plunged into.
While I?
I am the cold icy drip from the eaves
That trickles down one's neck and makes them cringe.
I don't mind being unnoticed
Being forgotten
Being alone
I just mind that I mind so much.

You know when you loose something and you don't really know how you lost it, and you assumed it was right where it was supposed to be. But then, just like that it was gone? That is what happened to you.

I was so certain that you were here and then you just disappeared and you know what, I hated you for it. I thought, "how could you make me go through that and not even think about how it would make me feel"?! If we are being completely honest. It was an extremely ****** thing to do!

When people first break up they usually tell people, "it was a mutual decision" in hopes that people wouldn't worry about you. Maybe it is more for me than for other people. If I tell myself that I did conflict resolution then maybe I can trick myself into thinking that nothing is wrong. But that isn't fair. BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS WRONG!

I didn't expect to end up alone, I say I don't care, but I care because it is you. I always have to put on a front and act like everything is ok and it's not. I have never been more unhappy in my life to be completely honest and non dramatic as possible.

It pains me to talk like I'm not hurt by what happened. We both can't stand to be without each other (unless something has changed). It hurts to break down in tears at 2am and then wake up and go to work like nothing is wrong.

If I'm being honest, I can't stand being a part. I'm just trying to hold on to all the moments, all the memories. It's all I have. I don't think you realize how little I have.

So excuse me if go off the grid because the near sight or thought of you makes me wanna crawl under a rock.

Dear People Who Have Given Up,

Please start trying,
Otherwise it's not fair on me.

I see you look the other way
    forbearing a feigned sigh
feeling the restrained ache
amidst
     a myopic casual glance
            from the corner
             of your eyes

so beautiful ― oh so beautiful
            so afraid the sun might
                      catch you crying

hearing the silent refrain  echo
      like hindsight in a box of tears
abetting an awkward growing distance
        manifest

  reality  weighted
         gravity
pushing down stronger

   pacing the cage
          door
      swung   open
with nowhere left to go

Its not just a dead end
                          crossroads
in the wake of some aftermath
      a portal passed
           through
           long ago

  where mazy shadows  
   linger like memories
          of someone
     you used to know

come rain or come shine
    falling leaves
return to the roots
like teardrops return to your heart

love is stronger than death
and...,
there's no such thing as fair

Life is hard and it's crazy
Sometimes it's easy for people
Sometimes it's not
You could say life is like a video game
Some people have all 5 lives and when they get knocked down they have 4 more
And others are on their last life and are battling endless bosses
They might beat 5 or 6 on one life and get to the lat one and lose that last life
It's sometimes unfair to lose that last life and die and see the people with 4 or 5 lives get the prize
After you cleared the way and you get no repay for beating the bosses for them
Life is unfair...just like video games.

Life is hard and it's crazy
Sometimes it's easy for people
Sometimes it's not
You could say life is like a video game
Some people have all 5 lives and when they get knocked down they have 4 more
And others are on their last life and are battling endless bosses
They might beat 5 or 6 on one life and get to the lat one and lose that last life
It's sometimes unfair to lose that last life and die and see the people with 4 or 5 lives get the prize
After you cleared the way and you get no repay for beating the bosses for them
Life is unfair...just like video games.