#ugly poems on Hello Poetry

XslyfoxX May 2020

Holy

Nothing ever seems to change.
Prayer after prayer and I'm exactly the same.
Scoffing at the idea that I'll ever be holy.

Ive emptied the contents of my stomach
while kneeling on the floor
As many times as I've been at the foot of a pulpit
But I'm still ******* up and my remorse just doesn't do it.

It's never been enough for me to change.

I confess,
I'm selfish and abusive
to my soul for my amusement.
Nothing ever seems to change.

Burn me alive for ten thousand years
and I'll never change.
My regrets haven't meant a thing.

I can't accept that I'm this selfish
but my heart isn't whole again.

Each person affected for my brief moment of pleasure.
Not joy, not love, not need. - Just pleasure.

I want to be better.
I swear I just don't know how.
Someone please show me how.
Because my prayers are bouncing off the shower walls.

the past couple years since I've written anything Ive been really testing my wife and her limits. Ive been accused of awful things and lost my job based on both correct and incorrect information. I'm spiraling and I'm ashamed of they way I've acted and treated loved ones and total strangers simply because I am selfish. This poem isn't necessarily intended to be my best work or even to be "good" by anyones opinion. It's the best way I know how to communicate the fact that I realize my past mistakes over the last 4 years and can't seem to shake the immaturity or the just awful, sinful, and evil nature in my heart. I wish I was a normal man with normal issues that I could hide, but being exposed and judged by people who used to respect me and I long to have a relationship with again has destroyed me. I don't want to be known for the things I'm known for by people I used to look at as brothers. I also don't want to be thought of the way I am by total strangers and people who I haven't spoken with in years. This is unfortunately what happens when I acted out in disgusting ways without considering the consequences it would have on my life and more importantly the people who I involved.
I don't think I even know what love is but:
I love you.

#depressed #disgusting #sin #holy #ugly #questioning #wondering #friends #xfoxspeakx

Phoenix-Rising May 2020

ugly sad

I am not beautiful
When I am sad
Because my depression
Is not the pretty
Made for tv kind

It’s the kind
That keeps me in bed
All day and night
Not able to get up
But also unable to sleep

The kind that means
I didn’t take a shower
Or bath all week
Because I couldn’t
Even put in that small amount of effort

It’s not the kind
That people want to see
To take artsy photos of
That could just be fixed
If only I could be happier

It’s the kind that means
I’ll be up all night again
And I’ll have bags under my eyes
And I won’t put on makeup
Because I just can’t do anything

And I can’t make myself study
Or do any work at all
Because my mind
Just can’t stop thinking
About everything and nothing

The kind that brings up
All of the memories
That I try to forget
And that try to **** me
Or maybe that’s just me

#ugly #sad #depression #helpme #help #dying

James Lator May 2020

Spectacle

I once showed my mother good grades,
she smiled proudly and praised me to death.
I once dressed nicely to go on a date,
I acted like a gentleman and she was impressed.

I once smiled sweetly at my brother when he was in pain,
he quickly forgave me for punching his face.

I once paid good money for some simple aids,
my grades went up without wasting one breath.
I once asked out a girl that I hate,
popped her cherry without a thought to invest.

Why do I do it? Why leave such a stain?
Cause an ugly show has more beauty than an honest disgrace.

#spectacle #beauty #lies #truth #ugly

IMCQ May 2020

-Note to Self-

I've taken your flaws and listed them in my mind.
I've tried to think of every reason not to love you.
The way you hurt yourself and others.
Unapologetic, unapproachable, unassuming.
Ugly inside and out.
The beauty in you is hard to find so you put in on paper.
It'll never be enough.
You're alone for good reason.
If there was good in you once,
It wasn't around for long.
Die already.

Lull

#ugly #hurt #die #good #bad

topacio Apr 2020

go in

Going in
Can be hard
When you don’t know
If it’s
demons
Or angels
That inhabit you

#demons #angels #good #bag #ugly

Parker Apr 2020

choke on it

feel the burning in your chest and enjoy it
the pain, the tightness, the lack of air
you deserve to choke on it
now, dont pretend like you care

sinful silly girl when will you learn
you create chaos wherever you go
you can never escape these burns
so dig in deeper, nice and slow

is self harm still self harm if its emotional?
and do you even know why you trigger yourself?
what a dumb baby *****
stop ******* asking for their help

**** in the horrors of your mind
that's it, breathe the hatred into your veins
inject yourself with your own lies
like an ****** addict just numb the pain

#pain #selfhate #hatred #monster #ugly #demon #depression #bpd #borderline #trigger

Reappak Apr 2020

Beauty in midst of ugliness

They are ugly, they are old
There's no beauty on their face,
Yet they create memories
Laughing late in nights,
They create something to remember
When these times don't return!
There is beauty inside their heart,
Life is beautiful in midst of ugliness
When you have a friend, or a pal
A pal which ignores
the mirror, mirror on the wall!
Who does actually cares
Who's the fairest of them all!
It's not the beauty which is worthy
Its the memories made together, gold!

#beauty #ugly #gold #memories

imehsahdehahs Apr 2020

5:22

No poem after twenty-two

I'm no rimbaud

I'm ****** ******, A *** nation

I am the Sinbad

keep prayin', Feed the wall

Dream catcher made of spider eyes

nightmares all night long
...

alone in my bed

deamons scream in my head

...
thin white duke

all in black

when your times come

there is no going back

...

**** hello poetry if they don't like me

I don't like me too

looks not books

***** and boots

boys are on toys

nails
,

crosses

&

bones

22

#suicide #hate #ugly