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aesthetic Sep 2014
.
we talked about escape like it could free us from the darkness in our veins
and you spoke of drowning in a way so beautiful I ached to be the ocean

I didn't mention the red lines on your wrists
you pretended to ignore the purpleyellow bruises on mine

we reached for each other in the dark
the shining of blood the only light we could find
#tw
cr Sep 2014
my bones are twisted. the
skeleton cracked at year thirteen
with what could only
be age or agony-
probably a gnarled collaboration
of the two.

i think i've been twenty-one
since i was born; at least, that's
what every teacher i've ever had
thought of me: "mature for her age".
so did every ****** guy high off of
green smoke with eyes glazed over in

lust, either staring at me or straight
through my jeans, whistling and howling
like wolves with blood dripping
down their chins and claws
ready to ****** something already

gone.

i think that's why i died young.
title from the song by nirvana, not necessarily inspired by it.
Sometimes Ally Aug 2014
after rehab you're to be better
they give you happy pills
just something to numb the pain
but my friends
they don't understand
they don't get that tiniest thing can make me
s
l
i
p
more recently i glance at my razor
the only one who makes me feel better
makes me feel like myself
makes me feel
something
four months clean and i start
s
l
i
p
p
i
n
g
finally i give in
and everything rushes to the surface
ruby red and beautiful
first in little beads
now in streams
slipping is more comforting than
this so called recovery
just a girl Aug 2014
roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you

but the roses have wilted
and the violets are dead
the sugarbowl is empty
and my wrists are stained
RED

**(c.m.h)
just a girl Aug 2014
a broken mirror a bleeding fist
a silver blade against a wrist
tears falling down to lips unkissed
ignore her and she wont exist
she's not hte kind you'll come to miss

**(c.m.h)
just a girl Aug 2014
you say you really love me
but still you call me stupid *****?
i dont think you really see
how much you make my arms itch

i do love you cuz afterall you are my mom
but we argue all the time
i dont know where this anger come from
and right now im living on a really thin line

mom i hate you go away
no i need you please, please stay!
get out of my room stupid *****
your face reminds me most of a witch

i sit here alone sad and afraid
but it wont be long back anyway...
im gonna **** myself, not today
but i will cuz i know i wont stay
so... my mom is overreacting about like... everything :'( ugh i hate her
and i'm SUPER suicidal right now... i turned anorexic at dinner today idk where it came from but just been arguing all day and now i feel fat...
just a girl Aug 2014
my daily routine is tragedy
i just want to be happy...

*(c.m.h)
it's supossed to be this short ;)
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