i sit alone,
but i have never felt lonely.
The times i feel lonely,
is when i'm in a room full of people.
i always smile,
but haven't felt happy in a while.
the times i actually feel happy,
is when i'm actually all alone.
i've always been skinny
but i never felt so,
i always felt fat and disgusting
the only times i didn't,
was when the scale had dropped.

I told myself
I would not write another depression poem
I told myself
I was done with blades and shaky breaths
But Depression
Is sneaky like that it
Always chooses the most unsuspecting as victims
I told myself
I'm not the kind of girl
Who chooses slicing and dicing
I told myself
You're the kind of girl who old ladies look at with a glint in their eye and say
She's going places
I told myself
Straight to hell
Everyone always told me
Go to college
Get good grades
Marry a nice man who will support you
No one ever told me
Not to write depression poems

that girl in the conor
80 lbs of weight
she's beautifully broken
skinny almost dead

that girl in the front
200 lbs of weight
she's happy and giggly
but fat and almost dead

we have me in the middle
100 lbs of weight
i'm neither happyor beautifull
i'm fat, living but not at all alive

little girl
your young
your skinny
you could have the world

little me
your shy
your sad
you don't know what you could be

dear myself
you were happy
you were beautifull
you should've never put that smile on the shelf

little fragile creature
broken and empty
your crying again
you're so **** silly

little skinny girl
why don't you eat?
you're starving again
food is what you need

little baby me
why are you here
you should have been dead
no one would waste a tear

Today is the day I have
chosen  to die,on the wings
of an ANGEL I will fly high

I feel I could have been
better while I was here,
but on the wings of an
ANGEL,I will have no fear.

All my life I had to put up
a fight,but on the wings
of an ANGEL I will be alright.

Things may have been better
if i'd taken time to pray,now
I am on the wings of an ANGEL
and I am going to be ok

standing on a cliff
one step forward
two miles down...

here we go again
sitting on my own
crying in the shower
same old sad tone

razor blade passion
calling my name
far in my thoughts
fasting my fat frame

all these words
rushing in my brain
i write them down on paper
to deal with my pain