Been so sleepy all day, rain often makes me feel this way,
I wanna slumber by the window n hear it pitter pat,
I like to listen to the puddles as they splatter back,
kitty kat lazily layin on the sill,
bending grey light in accordance w his will,
Grey skies bounce grey in my eyes, I'm finding time for realizing
dreams start inside, then work their way out into life
Thriving ain't easy, but then again it ain't that hard,
I stay the course while I play my part,
Gazing at the fire, I watch the shadows dance,
the little licking flames lull me into trance,
advancing visions I put forth into heat rising fr the flame,
fantastic spirits, I whisper their names,
Silently calling out to the skies, this is no game,
a living dream, layers of reality melt away at the seams,
seems to me the dream is real,
all these these magnificent sensations I feel,
all the while my heart beats slow n true,
Remembering skies bright clear n blue
Like an Alaska river, the course is always changing,
And my hearts waters fill up when the day stays raining.
Refraining fr wasting creative free spaces,
I keep it tightly contained in a most pious of places,
A den of meditation, thought congregation,
magic seems real n even contagious,
Outrageous as it seems,
Living life is but a dream,
I'm writing my own book, turning my own pages,
Highways quickly lead me, byways more scenic,
Looking skyward tends to bring my life meaning
And o wait, what's that, was I again dreaming,
Cause all the sudden now its really seeming,
That the window has an almost 45 degree angle
And the burning heart on fire pendant fr the rear view dangles
And the fire don't got that familiar orange glow
It looks more like the blue of my car stereo
So that's what's up, this dream is really going along with my plan
Cause the den in my mind is really the back of my van

I want to crawl out of my skin and transcend. I want to feel all the things I have forgotten that don't have names. I want to slip away. I want to laugh freely. I want to feel the way I used to. 

this bed is stripped down to the mattress and it shows all the faults and failures. it knows my name, bears my secrets, and held me up for four years. this ceiling houses my soul. these walls have both imprisoned me and set me free.

Laura gets emotional whenever we go to the towneast NA meetings. she says “this is the room I got clean in.” 

this room is where I rose and fell; transformed and burnt the remains of my monstrosity. I have evolved and endured within the confines of these walls. the scent of psychosis and freedom still lingers in the wallpaper of the bathroom after a long hot shower.

I have changed my entire existence within this room. I have lost my mind and soul in here. I have been empty and numb, trapped on this mattress. I was determined to make it the last thing I ever saw, once.

I have been to heaven and to hell on this bed. now I question if either exist. everything I have ever known, I have learned in here. everything I have ever questioned happened within this room.

I want to burn it to the ******* ground.

Like the trees in autumn breeze
I want to shed my skin
gently how a mandarin is peeled.
Let it all go
leaf per leaf
and see what stays.

For when spring comes
I can rise from the ashes
and bloom with nature.

Not struggle begot by necessity
beholds omnificence. And talent
alone does not suffice nor keeps
in store efforts of tenacious will.

Resolve is solely grounded in a drive
Inclined to transcendence, beyond
Body and mind to prove
To ourselves we are much more

Than cardiac pumps, cerebral synapses,
While something from within creeps
Tormented as it aspires to reach
Out and higher, emerging from ashes

Of apathy to spill wonders. Curiosity,
Potential, audacity the quest,
For impossible perfection a concept
Inexistent to the Universe,

As blithe omniscient nature need not
Imagination to grasp its own essence,
Gently infusing drops of unfathomable
Consciousness to a creature moulded

To become aware of itself and all that exists.

I open my lungs to the moist dirt between
sidewalk cracks.

Atoms severed  from the whole transcend
previous existence, take flight and enter my

body evaporating through tunnels, sinus
storm-drains built beneath my bones.

Particles intertwine themselves around
rooted hair shafts, excite neurons

electrical synapses, the sinew of sense
and memory ingraining fleshy shores of

my brain with cartography not yet understood.

So I too one day amputate this existence, navigate
to the peel covering concrete entombed earth

becoming dust, mud levees holding back waters
swollen by the pull of moon, slow earth thrown

to the casket. The comital of broken deadfall
in winter buried in un-named forests turned

black earth, turned home to black shelled
scarabs, turned nest.

Let the earth do this turning lament for me
let me be food for hungry worm mouths

the secret held between the hands of mice
warm within their family den, to the beak of young

howls turned night hunters, let me feed their
wingspan, nourishing fascia, the miracle

consensus between hard muscle fiber and
soft feather wherein miracle of flight is born.

Let the earth kneed me into nucleus seed
from where its hands are born,

forms sinuses from hollowed trunks and
lines its bones with me

Cimmerian Chaos, incediary
The Requiem of the Revenant:

Tis I,
The Breathing Song
Conjuring a vestige,
Ensorcelled by what I'd been envisaging.

Maimed by Tempus, The Temporal Arbiter
Words reverberating on the wavelength of my soul
Left me vibrating desolate and wayworn.
Utterances deluging me in the Dominion of Doubt
Until I reached a crossroads
For perilous was the pilgrimage I peregrinated.

The Penultimate Tribulation has begun
And though angst is festering in my flesh,
The Sacred Lotus of Dreams has not wilted,
Shalt it ever upon the Lake of the Holy Oracle;
Elysium of the Soul is awaiting those who are stalwart
In the Visage of the Shadows.*

∞Hallelujah∞

By Sanders M. Foulke III