it didn't sneak up on me
i fell slowly
with every act of kindness where she'd go out of her way for

i could lean on her.

she loves me unashamedly.
but i was afraid and stuck in quicksand
but she pulled me up
again and again
no matter how many times i mistook the sinking death trap as ground

our mutual sacrifice for eachother
out of concern, out of care, just because;
is what love is

she grew up with a beach of sand next to lake
i grew up near a beach with jellyfish & sweet salt air; home.

so one day i will take her to where their eyes remind me of

a honeyed landscape of granual sediment,
millions and millions of years of erosion,

just to look soft & warm to the onlooker

the tide pulling in and out. the seagulls flying above, cawing, while a cool, sunny day shines upon the sparkling waters frothing with movement.

her voice is my ocean breeze.

This body is not my home
The words you use for me are not my own
So, please don't presume to know me
As you see my passing by
What lies beneath the surface
Is more than what meets
Society's eye

I don't want to be different anymore. I want to be the same. I want to be the same. I want to be the same. I want to be the same. I just want to be the same. I don't want to be different anymore. Can't you make me the same? Why did you make me different why can't you make me the same?

despite popular belief
your hands do not bend the light of the sun
your lips do not pour truth and sugar
and there are scissors in your gaze

sitting next to your decisions
i let them hold my hands
and hold my mouth on your command
six pounds of fine print
six pounds of guile
you only love me when im silent

i am not stupid
i am not a fire prince
nor will i live to earn something that you refuse to give
however there are other factors, always,
like survival

kaleidoscope collage
your cuts are carefully connected
fingers of precision and denial
this was your causing and creation
and yet your language is laced with words as if you would be hurt by my exile

perhaps it will come that you understand love
but as it stands you believe it is hunger
to love is to know to demand and control
i pity your vision of family

a sliding scale of humanity
what gives you the idea it is a choice
what makes you think there is a weight difference in voice
like you have the right to someones needs
and reserving them for trials
performance should not be required
for simple decency

and yet here we stand
in front of the pyramids
like women perhaps
but no human for miles and miles