I can laugh
about you and tell my friends
i’m over you.
I can tell them
I deserved better and how
you don’t mean anything to me anymore
because
you damaged me.
I can tell myself
I am better off without you
and
I can remind myself the destructive aspects of us in hopes of
getting rid of our nostalgic memories.
I can tell myself
“everything happens for a reason”
in hopes of self awareness on how
we weren’t made to last
(though God, I really thought we were going to).


                    but here is the thing about me and i hate it so much

I can’t erase you from my head
I persistently think of what we could’ve been or
what we could’ve done to change what had happened to us
(why did this have to happen to us?)
what ifs expand through my brain,
colliding and becoming clusters of thoughts that keep me up at night
as i stare up at the ceiling
I can’t fully move on
when you’re still a part of me.
your touch lingers on my skin
and
your laugh echoes in my ears.
my lips burn from remembering and feeling your gaze on them.
I can’t listen to songs that used to make me dance
I have to sit in silence some nights as i drive home,
scared our song will come on the radio.
I can’t listen to songs that once made me dance
because
I might end up in tears midway through it.
I can’t go to certain places, even when I know i would go
with people who love and support me
because we made plans to go there.
Hell, i cant even go back to some spots knowing of the past we had there.
I can’t eradicate you from me.
and God, I want to.

                     but here is the thing about me and i hate it so much

i still detect as though you feel the same too. i have hopes you think of me and us, the potential we had and if we could ever reconnect. (am i being foolish for this?)

                      but here is the thing about you that i hate so much

you can’t.

                                           you   c a n ’ t.


these are the parallels

                
                                               between

                                                               ­                                you and i.

in you i saw forever,
in me you seen an escape.

A man sits alone
in the place he calls home
and he sits in his chair and he weeps
 
A tear in his seams
Has wounded his dreams
And upon him, slowly, death creeps
 
He’s not broken yet
But he can’t forget
How he pushed all of his loved ones away
 
And now he can tell
That in this living hell
That he’d wishes he’d just let them stay
 
Now see the blood drip
From his fingertips
As it pools at his feet on the floor.
 
He’s fought for so long
His defenses are gone
And he can’t fight alone anymore
 
And the pieces he’s lost
What his choices have cost
Have torn his conscious to shreds
 
His own mind betrayed
Wants not to be saved
So alone, there he sits, until dead.

She spins in the Spring air,
the sun shining in her hair
and it's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

A smile across her lips
you can watch the sadness melt in the sunlight.
Tragically beautiful.
Eyes full of tears never shed.

A heart empty and longing for someone to understand it's beat.
A soul on fire,
when you fan the flame
a passion burns in her.

Her mouth begs to be kissed,
but she keeps her lips locked
between nervous nibbling teeth until they are raw.

Curiosity and innocence are tangible on the surface,
but when you look behind the curtain
the shallows turn to drop offs and the depth could swallow you whole.

But she'll never let you that close,
she won't let someone risk drowning for her.

Sa bawat oras na kayakap kita,
Piling mo'y palagi kong ina-alaala.
Sa bawat oras na nagsasalita ka,
Mga ibinibigkas mo'y pawang musika sa aking tenga.

Sa bawat oras na tinitigan kita,
Para akong nasa langit nakatulala.
Pero lahat na ito, totoo nga ba?
Hindi ba tayo nilalaro ni tadhana?

Gugustuhin ko man maniwala,
Ano pama'y aking magagawa?
Kung lahat na ito'y isang panaginip na gawa-gawa?
Nagmamaka-awa ako ****-usap ko'y dinggin niyo na.

Sa bawat oras na kasama kita,
Palagi kong itinatanong sa Maykapal,
Ito na ba talaga?
Ikaw na ba talaga iyan?

Ngunit noong hinawakan ko ang kamay mo,
Bigla akong nagising sa katotohanan.
Lahat lang pala iyon ay isang panaginip lamang.
Ah, tama ang hinala ko.

Hindi nga talaga pwede na maging tayo.
Kase alam ko na ang ikaw at ako.
Ay isang kalokohan na gawa-gawa ko.
Isang walang kwentang kathang-isip na gawa ko.

Ah, kaya pala nagising akong luhaan.
Dahil binigyan ako ng isang magandang kasinungalingan.
At sa pagmulat ng aking mata,
Binigyan ako ng isang mapait na katotohanan.

Bakit ko pa ba napaniginipan iyon?
Kung alam ko na sakit lamang ng puso ang makukuha ko.
Hay naku! Ang sakit ko namang managinip.
Isang napakasakit na mapag-isang panaginip.

Red sky at night
Brings great fright
To those that profit from the storm
The spinning winds, blackened skies
Oh wind, Oh ocean, how classic

Lifeboats without Raging waters and
whitecaps are just overpriced orange floats  
The loss of life is tragic yes
But who would want a lifeboat if it never rained?
It truly only happens sporadically
though you wish it not happen at all
But alas, it must
for the profit from the storm

Sweet poison
Glazes thy lips, making them bittersweet
Those lips once warm and tender on mine
Now lifeless and cold to the touch
Oh what ill timing, for him to die as I awake
His breaths to shallow as mine deepen
His dagger lays upon the floor
Bloodied from my betrothed
How shall I live without my Romeo
Oh I cannot
Sweet dagger end this pitiful life
So I can be with my Romeo once more.