What I wanted was a hug from her
At a time when I needed it most
Reassurance from some loving arms
Forever keeping me safe and close

What I got was an apparent attagirl
Your strength sure makes us proud
Just cover the bruises and move forward
Speaking of it is never allowed

What I wanted was for him not to judge
Assuming that it had to be my fault
Simply by going against the grain
And not utilizing the skills I was taught

What I got was his scrutiny and doubts of faith
Citing my deficiency had gotten in the way
A reminder that God truly does keep score
Testing those of us who often go astray

You see, family plays a pivotal role in persona
Either developing solid roots of generational ties
Or they are unversed in shaping, nurturing, and growth
Unwittingly becoming the enemy in disguise

What I need from my family is a listening ear
Being supportive through silence is sometimes right
I do realize opinions will want to be shared
However, please refrain from giving me unsolicited advice

What I need is to feel heard and not admonished
For speaking against those who are no longer around
Enough damage is being done all on my own
Because my admiration and love knows no bounds

What I need most importantly is extra patience
The vile devastation caused by "them" was immense
I am working hard to heal the scars left behind
So bear with me, the journey is long and intense

You confuse me he said,
you with your gypsy heart I couldn't ease
and the reckless galaxies inside your mind
bursting like comet fire through a black sky.

I confuse myself I think,
inside a whirlwind of love and debris
I am growing like a **** towards the sun,
and yet each new flower still holds the embers of an old flame.

Always I look to you as the sea looks to the shoreline,
trace your stoic edges and retreat, leaving seafoam and whispers,
or crash with rage and waves against your certainty
that I do not understand.

Today I am a galaxy, maybe tomorrow I am the moon,
but always I am saddened by the tides that pull me back from you.

Her timid, inexperienced hands
Young, unsure and insecure
Didn't understand
The power in her touch soothed his soul.
She had no idea she was the chosen one

As an evolved woman in her 40s
She now understands that
Her hands felt like heaters when they touched his soul.
Penetrating his skin
Skin smooth like silk
Passion hot like fire

The majestic curve of her hips
The fullness of her *******
The softness of her lips
Had a hypnotic effect
Shaking this very powerful man
To his very core.
To see your soul's mirror reflection
In another being
Was completely unnerving
The vicious battle of wills and ego
That later ensued
Was simply a defense mechanism
For the both of them

This level of intimacy
Felt like a personal invasion
What felt like an attempt
Of mind and body control
Or strategic manipulation
Was truly the essence
Of old familiar souls
Reconnecting with each other

This unbridled passion
Was electrifying
Every nerve was a live wire
Intensity so strong it was alarming
******* full body electrocutions
Powerfully addictive
Never underestimate the significance
Of the soul tie
For as ancient energies exchange
Souls intertwine

This is an unbreakable bond
Stronger than betrayal, conflict or estrangement
Its unforgettable

Holding this queen to your chest
Without uttering a single word
She was "home"
Only the two of you
share this special space
With the ability to speak to
each others thoughts
And feel the others' soul cries
You are deeply connected
You are not alone

So in the next lifetime
Be brave enough
To trust each other.
Respect this bond as something far more than simple lust
May we seize the opportunity
And learn, build and grow together

May next journey not be so lonely
Marred with confusion, insecurities
Ego and self doubt
May we find comfort
In our shared heartache
Of the loss of our earthly mothers
We will forever be connected spiritually
Throughout the passage of time
And the rest of eternity

Until we meet again.

© 2017

We said I love you so many times
that I thought leaving and
forgetting wasn't an option
for us.

It took longer to separate ourselves because
every time I wanted to untie my heart from yours,
you held on.
And every time you were ready to loosen the knot,
I came back around...

We did this for a while.

You see, soul ties aren't two heart strings in a loop knot
You can't pull away and it'll. just. come undone.

We had to fuss. We had to cry. We had to go through what we went through to finally
Untie ourselves
from each other.

The way we deal with death is funny.
The child expected to cry,
must stay strong for his peers.
The adults have the luxury of tears.

So why the difference in action?
When the cause stays the same?
The adult may have lost a member of kin.
The child, however, is broken within.

Everything must end.
The way we cope with life as kids.
Replaced to see it like adults.
The loss of a friend, sister or mother.
The death of a father or a brother.

Everyone has a mechanism to cope.
Giving them time and space to heal.
You have your religion and empty prayers.
I have my broken universe and empty stares.

-Tash