If I could pull the threads,
that stitched the universe, together...
If I could slip between the tracks,
and barricade myself,
between buoyant clusters, of atoms
would you take note of my absence?
Would you remember I existed?
Would you even register,
the loss of me?
Or would I become as distant,
and extraterrestrial to you,
as a forgotten galaxy,
would you recall little more, than
terra firma, beneath your feet,
and never notice
that there's a hole
in the weeping glass dome,
above you?

There was a voice that called deeply in the night.
There was a thickening of life,
that slowed one's inner thoughts.
There was a suspended pendulum,
that ceased its free swing,
and all at once, it seemed,
there was motion in grief.
There was a single drop of rain, that caught the passing days.
There was a forward movement,
and inside the fray of life,
I could feel a light begin to take shape.

-Rhia Clay

your own demons
give you strength
when there’s no one
to hold onto
that’s why they’re
so hard to let go.
your demons reek fire,
and your energy flares to life,
angry hatred is stronger than ever.

I expected it to be gradual,
Like feel every day of my life,
Watching the sun rise then sets,
But then I become 25,
After a nap the length of my childhood.

Once upon a time I was guided to walk,
To learn in school with a teacher,
With classmates to learn with me,
So I learned better through them,
With some friends I had fun with.

I used to write so much,
A lot of thoughts with little words,
So smart, so creative, so brave,
But then I got here,
Barely spilling time to be me.

Why do I feel so empty,
When I have a life so full.
A love strong to waive my mistakes,
A home to keep other worries out,
And a job to do that pays well.

I travel and dive to the oceans,
I drive to the far high roads,
I fly to more islands,
But then I go home and think,
Why am I still sad?

Maybe this is growing,
The uncomfortable phase of consciousness,
When you think more of the things to do,
Than just doing it,
Always with fear of getting it wrong.

Because for the first time ever,
You are alone and fully responsible,
For your whole being,
And it is scary,
Growing up is scary.

i don't want it back at all
but i miss you
the way we laid together in the grass, holding onto the earth and holding onto each other
i miss the way we ran with our toes in the sand, our hands intertwined and our cares free to roam the beach and blow in the wind
i've nearly forgotten how perfectly your hair falls, flowing down your back like tears on my face
i miss how you made me feel like i was on top of the world
i miss how you would pick up when i fell
i miss knowing who you were
i miss wrapping every word that left your mouth around my pinky finger like an oath
i miss whispering my wishes to you in the dead of night, knowing only you could hear me
i miss you like a dreamer
i miss you like a prisoner
i miss your smile
i miss your frown
i miss your promises
i miss your lies
i miss the summers we made out of those cold december days
i miss you